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the child. princess of God. gospeliter. 10111991. hmss091011. npech. B0108091011. hiclub. fencer. guides. 12c30405. 34s20607. crescent. the younger days. July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 November 2010 the peers. charmaineng henrietta samantha YOUTH. youth a big message a big mission glcc bernice chiawen daphne giolo ian jessica jiahao jonmuk kennethchai lesley lynnshan malcolm markchia melody ruth sicheng B01 [08091011]. B01 [08091011] afifah amirahlee daphne jieling kaiting latifah michelleling pengswee rongxuan tammie weiqian yvonne yiting SYFC. estherhuang marcus ruixin sheena sheryl vanessa HMS.NP. keala fencing alicia chuhui darren fiona hidayah jasmine juian kayyong madalene matthewhan romaine ronny tecky wayne CRESCENT. guides eileen
the interactions. the thanks. Base code:OHsaygoodbye Image: sxc.hu |
23 April 2006 ! at 1:15 PM ! Don' t be fooled by me Don't be fooled by the face I wear For I wear a thousand masks, masks That I am afraid to take off... And none of them are me Pretending is an art that is second nature with me but don't be fooled I give the impression that I am secure That all is sunny and unruffled with me That confidence is my name And coolness is my game That the water is calm and I am in command And that I need no one Please don't believe me. Please. My surface may seem smooth But my surface is my mask Beneath this lies no complacence Beneath dwells the real meIn confusion, in fear, and aloneness But I hide this. I don't want anyone to know it I panic at the thought of my weakness And I fear of being exposed That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind A nonchalant, sophisticated façade To help me pretend To shield me from the glance that knows But such a glance is precisely my salvation My only salvation and I know it That is, if it is followed by acceptance If it is followed by love It is the only thing that will assure me Of what I can't assure myself That I am worth something But I am afraid to tell you this I don't dare. I am afraid to I am afraid that your glance will not be Followed by love and acceptance I'm afraid you'll think less of me That you'll laugh at me and your laugh will kill me I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing That I'm no good And that you will see this and reject me So I play my game, my desperate game And a trembling child within And so begins the parade of masks And my life becomes a front I dislike hiding. Honestly I dislike the superficial game I am playing The phony game. I'd really like to be genuine Spontaneous, and meBut you've got to help me You've got to hold out your hand Even when that's the last thing I seem to want Only you can wipe away from my eyes The blank stare of breathing death Only you can call me into aliveness Each time you're kind and gentle, and encouraging Each time you try to understand because you care My heart grows wings, very small wings Very feeble wings but wings With your sensitivity and sympathy And your power of understanding You breathe life into me I want you to know that I want you to know how important you are to me How you can be the creator of the person that is me If you choose. Please choose to. You alone can break down the wall Behind which I tremble You alone can remove my mask You alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and uncertainty From my lonely person. Do not pass me by. Please do not pass me by It will not be easy for you A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back I fight against the very thing I cry out for But I am told that love is stronger than walls And in this lies my hope Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands But with gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive Who am I, you may wonder I am someone you know very well For I am everyone you meet. ~ a poem sent to me by dearest sis Annie - an apt reminder for us to keep reaching out to others and to look deep into the hearts of every individual who need the touch of God's love in their life... Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.~ 1 John 3:16-18 the above poem and verse were taken and copied from daphne's blog(: what a sweet yet real poem! i totally love it and daphne's posts are always so encouraging and nice(: well the whole of last week was a great week! i felt really blessed by the Lord as He blessed me by just the simplest of all things - keeping me awake in class. Practically the whole i hardly felt any time when i was really tired except maybe, a couple of periods when i fell asleep. But its a great improvement and i really thank Him for providing me with His strength to go through this whole past week. had 4 tests all together. bio, emaths and chem were surprisingly quite easy and do-able while phy was as usual, un-do-able. well basically cuz i dont understand anyway. yup and i love last friday night! which in other words yesterday night(: we watched the bloopers scene and also had the 'golden horse award thing'! hahaha well joshua was best actor, nicholas best supporting actor and geraldine best actress though it was supposed to be iris but she didnt go so yup. and their prizes were fruits hahaha! well i and some other teenz started playing those games we used to play in pri sch! it was enjoyable(: haha and now im hooked and addicted to those games already! haha and my hands hurt like i-dont-know-what. haha in short, i was terribly happy reliving my childhood games and playing all of them last night(: haha and me and jessie havent completed our 3 rounds of hand spanking scissors paper stone game! haha i won the 1st round! we've left with two rounds next fri must play to fen chu sheng fu! heh. and i played that scissors paper stone winner takes step back loser stretches leg game with jon muk! haha and at first it was pretty unfair cuz his legs were obviously so much longer than mine): haha but all thanks to LUCK i won the scissors paper stone part(: then i also played some black white grey sheep with jean and hai dai with her too! hahaha the hand spanking game i played with so many people until my hands were like sunburnt :/ but it was fun! haha i love it. in the end i think a whole lot of people were kinda scared of playing with me liao le! cuz i spank very hard de(: then i played with yufei but then he hit very gentle, haha guess its cuz he's a guy then if he use full force i'll probably die or smth. but i still spanked his hand very hard when i played(: haha mimi and nini dont want to play with me le - all scared of me :D hahaha. today i nearly managed to go for the rock climbing activity at sp with mimi and the rest :/ but last min smth came up so i cldnt go): yup had medical check up in the morning and i was pretty depressed after that to the extent ithat i nearly cried D; but yea. luckily i had some super-comforting friends and i cheered up pretty soon esp after i start thinking of all the fun times i had like last night(: and now im quite happy le(: recently there's some problems i encountered with my stupid tablet and its stupider charger and im pretty stressed and fustrated and irritated with the two of them. bah. all also about charging de. but i trust God will provide a way for me as long as i pray to Him about this and He'll help me(: well that's about all and mid years are in 6 days time so i better go study le. byebye(: do you have any idea how much i want to be with you? how much i've missed those times; carved right into the middle of my heart. yes, those times spent with you. and yet, you're so ignorant of it all. how could you? i cant gather up enough courage to say those three little words to you, yet i dont know if you feel the same and will ever say those three little words to me. <3, CASS. |