tune in to His tunes!

2010-11-04T22:47:00.001+08:00

There have been people asking me to update my blog. Haha. I've been so lazy & busy that I don't feel like it. Hence, the ultra long delay.

The holidays passed by in a whirl, with my last 3 weeks dedicated to full time camping. Yeah I had 3 camps, 1 per week. It felt like madness, & I missed my bed a lot. Like, seriously. HAHA. Just felt weird to be back home again. Then, of course, school started again. Last semester of my poly school life. & I still don't know what I wanna do. I can't see the road ahead that God's planned for me. I don't really want to stay on in the childcare line, to be honest. I'm thinking of venturing into either performing arts or languages. Like, theater studies, something I've always wanted to do, but never dared to. But should I? I really don't know.

Uni applications are starting already. Do I pursue my dreams? But are my dreams in line with Yours? How do I know? I'm praying, really praying. While the answer still remains a mystery, I can only trust in You. Holy Spirit, guide me in the steps I ought to take.

At the crossroads once again. There's no one else that I can trust except You. & I just want to go to the beach, to sit by the crashing waves & stare into eternity.

2010-09-24T12:33:00.000+08:00

It's been close to a month since I've last posted. Haha. For the past couple of weeks I've been so busy & tired out working >< Selling mooncakes ain't an easy job! my legs ached like mad. I was initially very enthusiastic at work, but of course, as time passed, my energy level diminished. & after the first few days, Daphne & I can't help but go mad everyday, especially at nights when we do closing together. HAHAHA. The crazy things we do, seriously. We simply go mad & crazy, & I feel like I'm drunk on high-ness even if I didn't drink that day. The throwing of stuff & dancing like nobody's business at 11pm in Lot One drives me nuts, but I love it, & I miss it. HAHA. Oh & my telescope thingy just kills me xD I miss talking about the 3 men in green next door, the weirdo & the xiang brothers. & Mariott's my good friend! HAHAHA. Always got small change for me! & the playing of kpop music at our booth, dancing & signing when nobody's there, singing to our romanizations, opening our mooncake library & reading in the afternoons... The countless nonsense we used to do at the booth. (: & I love laughing with her, the both of us would simply burst out laughing & we can't stop! HAHAHA. & all the booths around us can hear us laughing away! & Peili's the only one working! I always feel guilty, but then... haha. & how can I forget our drawing competition! Although I lost like mad, she won hands down but ah... the mad things we did, I can't even count them all. OH & HOW I HATED THE CASH REGISTER. Like seriously, it is too high-tech for an IT-idiot like me HAHAHA. Everyday I'm bound to create some new problem on it & Daphne has to figure out the solution. I simply can't do it. HAHA. On the last day, although I was glad it was finally over, my legs & mental state were going haywire already, I did feel a sense of loss. As I watched our 'home' for 15 days being torn down, the tables being cleared away, the cloth & boxes being packed, I couldn't help but wish, for just that tiny little bit, that I could still stay on & go crazy at the booth everyday.

The 15 days were part of the best part of my holidays. (:

& now, after a couple of days' rest, it's time to go ahead full steam for LAC & church camp planning! (:

P.S I love thursdays :D HAHAHA! CJ friends are hilarious & fun! :D

2010-08-27T05:46:00.000+08:00

I realized I can't read stories from http://www.lovegivesmehope.com/ & http://givesmehope.com/ . I never get past 10 stories before my eyes get too watery to read anything & I simply have to pause for a while. (: But still, I could always do with stories like that. They're gonna have a book soon! I think I would love to buy it (:

It's been the holidays for quite sometime now (: I've been spending my holidays catching up & getting to know people, learning the meaning of investing in relationships. I don't know if it would be a well spent holiday but I'm slowly growing. I can't exactly yet say in what way I'm growing, but I'm happy to just be able to spend more time with people. People I never thought I would spend so much time with, people I never thought would want to spend more time with me instead of other people. That's the best about holidays, just simply catching up on who & what you love. (:

But of course, with holidays, the usual problems always set in. I've once again lost track of time. Constantly. :/ I keep mixing up dates & days & times & events -.-

Anyway, I've recently picked up dancing :D Unlike me, you say? Perhaps. I guess I'm just trying to find the dream I had. 9 years ago.

God, lead me on, lead me forward, without fear, but with Your peace, that transcends all understanding, & that will guide my mind & my heart in Christ Jesus.

I'm finally. Coming home.

2010-07-31T16:48:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last blogged. Okay a very long while. But surprisingly, I didn't miss blogging. Perhaps I was too caught up with things.

I've been making far too many changes & decisions, trying out too many new things at a go. Maybe it's time to finally stop & take a break. To rest my mind & realign my focus. But can I?

Have I buried myself deep, beneath my own desires that I've forgotten Yours? & neglected the world around me? & this unsettling, often forgotten, yet returning feelings, will they stay or will I finally get rid of it?

I'm just mad at myself, for being mad at you.

On the other hand, I've sprained my right ankle again. Goodness knows this is the how many time. & I'm on the lookout for a job. Sometimes I really hate money.

2010-06-25T12:37:00.002+08:00

I think this is really sweet. Haha I was tearing by the time I finished reading it ): I really don't want them to disband! D:

http://welovechoisiwon.tumblr.com/post/733234139/trans-what-the-boys-said-after-3jib-only-elf-can

2010-06-06T01:19:00.006+08:00

HAHA thought I ought to update a little. Anyway, past couple of weeks have been quite a blurrrrrrrrrrrrr. So many things going on, so many last minute changes to things etc etc.

But I've been slacking A LOT. Like seriously A LOT. & I've joined the K-pop craze HAHAHA. Although I currently only like Super Junior (LIKE REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT) haha. A lot of people can testify that I'm now in stage 1 - the fangirling part. Which is madness xD But Super Junior keeps me entertained all the time!!! They're so funny!!! <3 HAHAHA. After much time spent on watching videos, these are the current standings for all 13 members of SUJU <3

First places: RYEOWOOK, EUNHUYK & YESUNG = ♥ ♥ ♥
Second places: SIWON, EETEUK, SUNGMIN, KANGIN, KIBUM & DONGHAE
Third places: HANKYUNG, SHINDONG, HEECHUL, KYUHYUN

HAHAHA. I foresee myself becoming a humongous SUJU fan soon, if I'm not yet one! Anyway, they're coming to Singapore tomorrow!!! & they're having a showcase! But the tickets are so expensive! Otherwise I would have wanted to go...! D: I♥SuperJunior! :D

Anyway, let the photos tell the story of the past events :D

Graduation Ceremony:

I actually took a couple more photos but I don't know whyyy. They couldn't be saved properly or uploaded. Haha, just look at facebook lah. I'm gonna miss the year 3s now that they're officially gone. Okay I've already started missing them anyway. It still feels weird to be a year 3, like I'm not used to not seeing seniors I know around school. Now I hardly see anyone that I know around school anymore. ): But I'm thankful for a relatively peaceful school life so far :D I'm proud of you year 3s! & thank you all for making such a huge difference in my poly life! Seriously, if not for all of you, I would prolly not have such a fun-filled, fulfilling school life. Because of all of you, I've learnt to fall, pick myself up, to live, to love, to laugh & to give. Thank you <3

A day of catching up & love - Germaise, Lyana & I:
I really really really love these 2 girlfriends of mine. :D I thank God for how you two have always been part of my life, no matter what. Thank you for the wonderful sisterhood we share :D & of course, thank you so so so much for the lovely red jacket. I absolutely love it. :D

2010-05-16T13:38:00.006+08:00

Went to watch The Last Song with Lyana <3 HAHA. Good thing she brought tissues. She knew we would both need it. (:

Love is fragile and we're not always its best caretakers. Even the best of us make mistakes; we just muddle through and do the best we can to hope this fragile thing survive by all odds.
- The Last Song

I need to move on. To stop living in the past & start living in the present. Even if I'm losing touch with all of you. If you push people away, would you be able to pull anyone back?

God, I need to fill myself with You, break me once again, that I may be an empty vessel for You.

2010-05-13T23:37:00.000+08:00

The puking cycle seems to be starting again. D: Ahhh. All the nauseous feelings, the topsy turvy feeling in my tummy, the headaches, the retrenching notions. :/ & yes, I just puked again. My lunch. Which was about 8 hours ago?! Why wasn't it digested! Ewww... I don't want to do CIRPE assignment. D: It's so confusing.

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=497

http://www.dynamics.com.sg/ & this is super cool. It's where I hope to end up at in future. But how do I get there?! I do hope students on holiday can work there. I'll love to give it a shot. Or working at a special needs school. (:

Crashed Hi Club today with Daphne, Xuan, Shurong they all. It was, fun at times, boring at times. HAHA. I love my 'new' sign name, ghost!

Okay I really should go do my CIRPE essay already. Due on Monday! D:

I wanna stop feeling nauseous. D:

2010-05-12T13:08:00.001+08:00

Praise You in this storm - Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=495 - After all, isn’t “time” just a gentler, bite-sized word for “life”?

Interesting eh. (: Time being a bite-sized word for life, a mini life, a moment by moment of life. I've been thinking quite a bit lately, about how I spend my time. I know many have told me I'm too involved in school activities. But after praying, after seeking God, I still feel contented where I am. To me, I've dropped a lot of my committments already. Like fencing. A whole huge chunk that I wasn't willing to let God take it away. Yet, despite the longing I thought I would feel, there was peace & relief, joy & ease. I don't know if I'll ever pick up the sport again, much as I'll love too, but I know, dropping it was definitely in God's will. & right now, there's nothing in my life I feel the desire to drop. But I'm learning to let God take control, moment by moment, of my entire life.

Last night's BS was really good as usual. I'm learning about so many truths in God's Word that I've never known. (: I guess, even when Amelia isn't able to go, I'll continue to go. With Kaiqi I guess. & next time, I wanna take down notes. In my book, the one I've not touched for so long. (:

& right now, I want to seek God about my career paths. Circumstances have shown me a different path from what I desired, but I just want to be sure I'm in line with God (:

2010-05-06T02:48:00.000+08:00

I suddenly feel like writing something for my class. After reading Latifah's latest post... I miss LTs too. The super cold aircon, the constant munching on snacks, doodling openly and playing word games on paper, playing games on my iTouch, SLEEPING. HAHAHA. Which is what I do almost 24/7 of the time spent in the LT. & of course, my classmates around me try to wake me up every now & then. & the random camwhoring days when people bring their cameras. Or the making of embarrassing videos. LIKE, TRUST ME, EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING. All thanks to Siti & Xuan for being avid camwhorers.

& then there are the too many tutorials. Of which, ITA wins the most boring award. Loves Latifah's comment about our conversations: "I'm bored.." "I'm bored too..." "When is she going to end..." 2 minutes later... "I'm bored.." "I'm bored too...." HAHAHA. & then the games we play during tutorials, or the times sitting at the desk listening to the lecturers rant on and on and on and insisting on playing videos which drone on further. Of course, always leading me to sleep once again, plus they dim the lights (this always happens in the LT too)! & then the food tutorials like EA whereby being the last class is always the best. We always get free goodies at the end of the class HAHAHA. & the buying of breakfast and going to class to eat it. HAHAHA. Oh I could go on and on.

But I told myself I only wanted to come into blogger and typed, "I suddenly feel like writing something for my class." and continue with "I'm gonna jot this feeling down so that when I'll remember to blog about it when it's earlier, & not at this unearthly hour." Of which, that didn't happen. But the above was just a summary, a short glimpse into my poly life. Nah-uh, I'm not done yet. There's still a year of memories left to write & collect (:

Perhaps what could have been making me feel all nostalgic is the seniors' upcoming graduation ceremony. 24th May. HAHA. I don't know why, but I'm feeling sad but excited for them. I think I'm more excited than some of them lah. I can't wait to attend the ceremony.

Okay, I really shouldn't have come into blogger. Just knew I would get carried away blogging. A part of me wants to continue on about my upcoming attachment... But I guess we'll leave that for now, yeah? I should catach some sleep :/ Need to wake up at 8am tomorrow!

MUSHROOM CHEESE OMELETTE TOMORROW WITH MY SISTER! <3 :D (So much for feeling so unhealthy for the past few days, I even went for a run volunteerily! Okay, but that's another story that happened on Monday. Speaking of which I wanna talk about it too... BUT NEXT POST. Control yourself cassandra. Go & sleep NOW.)

2010-04-28T12:19:00.001+08:00

Yesterday's Bible study session was good (: Although I was really tired, but His grace was sufficient :D I learnt a lot, I'm starting to really like Bible study sessions. Although I'll have to give next week a miss, I hope I can go more regularly! :D

Pastor Jason asked 3 questions that left me wondering.

Do you know who you are?
Do you know why you are here, on this earth?
Do you know where you are heading to?

I'm glad to say that I know all the answers. But sadly, not many people know them. ): Do you?

I know who I am, I am a redeemed & beloved child of God (:
I'm here to glorify my Father in heaven & to worship Him with all that I am. (:
I'm heading towards heaven, because Jesus has died on the Cross & has paid for all my sins - past, present & future. & because of that, I can be washed clean & stand righteous before my God, & have a reconciled relationship with God. I'm going to heaven! Are you? (:

God has indeed been good to me. :D It's so wonderful to be able to wake up everyday & look out to all of His beautiful creations, whether rain or shine, His love calls out through everything & His presence is so sure, so certain.

This week, I'm praying as it is written in Eph 4:29.
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

I pray that I will speak words of love, that it'll bring forth a fountain of blessings, just like the sweet spring water. (:

Finances hasn't been easy on me, with the constant outings & gatherings, & having to pay for numerous presents. But somehow, by His grace, I've managed to get by everyday. I'm amazed that I haven't had to borrow money. But this week, perhaps even this month, I want to watch my finances more tightly, such that I won't spend on unnecessary things. I want to spend my money wisely (: It's a blessing, to even be able to spend with such freedom. This is especially so when I compare myself with the people of third-world countries. I want to be able to give more to those who really need it. (:

2010-04-23T22:12:00.001+08:00

301st POST! HAHAHA.

I supposed, after such a long hiatus, I should come back to blogging. It's been quite a ride, the past 2 weeks :D But I must say, God has indeed been good & faithful throughout, even though I am not.

FOC was a great success! Thank you all to every single one of you who made this camp such a wonderful experience; be it the Excos, Station Masters, Group Leaders or even the Campers! Till today, I still can't believe it that we practically had close to 250 sign ups & campers. God has indeed been good :D Throughout the camp, to my greatest greatest greatest surprise, I didn't puke or lose my appetite to eat AT ALL! :D Really must thank God! HAHA. I was so ready to feel nauseous 24/7, but uh-uh, the feeling didn't come. Not once at all (: & other than the fatigue from the lack of rest & sleep, I was totally fine. No headaches, nothing :D It was also amazing to see how God has held back the rain on the whole of first day & during the amazing race on day 2! (: These were the parts whereby campers had to travel from station to play games & complete tasks. & although the dark clouds were looming ominously overhead from time to time, not once did a single drop of rain fall from the sky. It was only by late afternoon on day 2 that it began raining. By then, the only activity affected was Campfire Night! But God provides, & shows me that His will is best. Although many of us were disappointed that we couldn't have a real campfire, we had one in the atrium. & oh my, was the atmosphere just pure awesome! It was really good, wayyyyyyyyyyyyy better than expected. Everyone was just getting high & enjoying themselves, & all the dance performances were real good. :D I have no idea how Weiting & I got through the camp, with so little hours of sleep ( the last day being only 1.5hours D: ) but He has been so so so good. It was definitely by His grace & strength that I could go through each day facing so many people with smiles & laughters. Thank You God <3

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M OFFICIALLY A YEAR THREE ALREADY!!!

Time flies mann, it really does. I'm soooooooooooo not used to being a Year 3! But this week has been a real blessed week for me (: It's been peaceful, relatively stress-free & really nice. Although it seems as though many assignments are due soon ( in week 4, 55%! D: ), but I thank God for His peace which has been guarding my heart & mind in Christ Jesus (: It was really good, just seeing, chatting & catching up with all my classmates once again. I'm really thankful for this class, how most of us have grown closer with one another :DDD & I'm really glad that I've allowed God to take away my selfishness & let His love reign as I make choices that I know will be pleasing to Him :D

DANCE4FUN WAS GREAT (: The HMS performance I mean! HAHAHA. A great job well done to all the dancers & especially the supporters who came for the actual thing & for the numerous rehearsals! :D I could see the HMS spirit burning brightly! :D & of course, a very special thank you to Firdaus & his partner, Nat, for cherographing & leading the dance! :D HMS FTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! <3

Today was really GREAT HAHAHA!!! Daphne lee, Yiting & I were supposed to go to amk to lunch & sing K. In the end, being real lazy to travel, we headed to the clementi's branch instead. We had lunch, I had fishball noodles :D After which, we somehow managed to while away 1.5 hours wandering & exploring clementi area. HAHAHA. & then we met Jieling at another coffeeshop & waited for her to have lunch. While waiting, the 3 of us ordered a bowl of fishball soup <3<3<3! IT'S ONE OF THE BEST FISHBALLS EVER!!! The 3 of us couldn't get enough of it from the first bowl, & we bought a 2nd bowl, a bigger one! HAHAHA. & the uncle gave us extra to thank us for our support. SUPER NICE LAH! :D Sang K for a few hours after that! Yvonne joined us too :D HAHA. The theme of today's singing session was "HAPPY LOVE SONGS" HAHAHA. 'Cause love was in the air for somebody mah. HAHAHA. Dinner after K! HAHAHA. We went back to the same coffeeshop & had the shiokest dinner ever. Sambal stingray <3 & ( Daphne & Yiting had sotongs too D: ) another bowl of fishball soup!!! :DDD <333! HAHAHA. SERIOUSLY SHIOK. & the sambal stingray was super nice too! HAHAHA. It was a super good dinner! :D THANK YOU GOD FOR GIVING ME SUCH A RELAXING, FUN & AWESOME DAY! :D

Off to do highquest! I must be more regular in doing it! <3

2010-04-10T23:57:00.001+08:00

2 Corinthians 4 - Cast Down but Unconquered

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death is working in us, but life in you.

Matthew 5 - Love Your Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

& I will respond in love. But which way is the loving way You would want me to go? To say or not to say? How much to say? How & what do I do? Such unclear steps before me. (: I know that You'll be holding my hand as I walk, step by step. & You'll reveal the right steps one at a time, & You'll show me clearly Your will. & for now, my heart will not be anxious, & I will be at peace. <3 Thank You!

Perfect Peace.

When life’s burdens get so heavy
and it seems I’m all alone,
I cast my care on Jesus
and come boldly to His throne.
I find His grace sufficient
when His promises I heed.
For His very life He sacrificed,
and He lives to intercede.

He is the Lord of Lords, and when He speaks
winds and waves obey.
When Jesus whispers
“Peace, be still,”
then darkness turns to day
And as I’m trusting in my Savior’s Word doubts and fears all cease.
And beneath the shelter of His wings
I’m at rest in perfect peace

I will seek for souls in darkness,
Calv’ry’s love with them to share.
Empowered by His Spirit
I will follow anywhere;
For I know whate’er befall me
my Lord is in control.
And as my mind is stayed on Him
perfect peace He gives my soul.

He is the Lord of Lords, and when He speaks
winds and waves obey.
When Jesus whispers
“Peace, be still,”
then darkness turns to day
And as I’m trusting in my Savior’s Word doubts and fears all cease.
And beneath the shelter of His wings
I’m at rest in perfect peace

What a comforting, reassuring song. One that brings my focus back to my purpose. (:

2010-04-10T10:24:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow.

It's tomorrow. Tomorrow 11.30am. Blk 56 lift lobby.

It starts. & we will all make it a success. We will give it our all, I know we will. Everything will be okay, it will! Today, I'm getting back ALL my confidence, ALL my certainty, & I'm running things the way I best know how to. I ain't letting anyone knock me down again. I'm standing, throughout everything. :D

I've dreamt of camps for the entire week. How scary D: HAHAHA. But at least, they haven't been nightmares so far :D Which is good! & Mrs Tian is easily starting to become my favourite lecturer! :D She's really very very very nice! She just came over to my place purposely to pass me some keys, & bought me breakfast at the same time!!! How much nicer can a lecturer get? :DDD THANK YOU MRS TIAN!!! I'm gonna make sure she wins the next nomination for best lecturer :D OH MANN. I REALLY WISH SHE'S TEACHING MY CLASS NEXT SEM ): BUT I KNOW SHE ISN'T. AT LEAST CURRENTLY SHE ISN'T GOING TO TEACH ME ))):

Last night's meet up with the Crescent family was great (: I'm really glad to have met them, especially Wani & Peiyi. Haven't seen them for ages! I'm so amazed by the crazy bond all of us share, how we all just fit in with one another so easily, despite growing & changing so much (: How I laughed so easily with them, it felt like I haven't laughed freely for a couple of days. They just brought that joy out of me once again. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE. PUII. OF ALL OF US. SHE'S THE FIRST ONE!!! HAHAHA. & I thought she was my fellow amoeba. ): HAHAHA. But still, it was nice hearing her talk & talking to her, all the way home together on 188.

2010-04-06T02:37:00.000+08:00

TAKEN FROM CHARMAINE'S BLOG:

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

I BET THIS APPLIES TO GUYS TOO. AS IN, THE OTHER WAY ROUND HAHAHA. ANYWAY. STUPID TUMBLR. WHY CAN'T I TAG IF I'M NOT A TUMBLR USER?!?! GRRR. HMPH. & I HAVE TO KEEP LEAVING MANNY OFFLINE MESSAGES AS MY TAGS. >:{ SOON I'LL HAVE TO DO THAT TO ALL TUMBLR USERS ALREADY. HOW IRRITATING & CONFUSING.

I STILL LOVE BLOGGER. EASY, SIMPLE, FUSS FREE. & I CAN PUT A TAGBOARD ON IT EVEN THOUGH IT'S DEAD 90% OF THE TIME. HAHAHA. & I CAN LINK ALL TUMBLR & NON-TUMBLR USERS! HOW USEFUL. HAHAHA. AH WELLS.

DEAR HMSS EXCO,
PLEASE TAKE EXTRA GOOD CARE OF YOURSELVES OKAY! ONE MORE WEEK TO FOC, LAST LAP TO GO!!! (: I'M PROUD OF ALL THE GROWING UP YOU GUYS DID WITHIN PRE-CAMP & I HOPE TO SEE MORE GROWTH (THAT GOES FOR ME AS WELL)! & SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE CARE! FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE FALLEN SICK, PLEASE RECOVER IN ONE WEEK'S TIME! HAHAHA. ALL GO SEE DOCTOR & GET THE STRONGEST MEDICINES AVAILABLE!!! :D
LOVE, CASSIE.

Even I've fallen ill ): To the hands of flu, fever, sore throat, splitting headaches & muscle aches. ): BUT MY DOCTOR WINS. HAHAHA. HE GAVE ME TAMIFLU TABLETS!!! The ones for H1N1! HAHAHA. & (NOTE THIS EVERYONE): HE SAYS IT IS OKAY & PERFECTLY NORMAL TO NOT FEEL LIKE EATING/SLEEPING, ESPECIALLY UNDER STRESS. & HE SAYS TO JUST LISTEN TO THE BODY & PUKE IF I NEED TO. & DON'T FORCE MYSELF TO EAT, JUST MUNCH EVERY NOW & THEN IF POSSIBLE.

SO PLEASE DON'T KILL ME IF I REALLY FEEL LIKE I CAN'T EAT/SLEEP & JUST PUKE OKAY!!! MY DOCTOR SAYS IT'S OKAY! (:

2010-04-04T03:02:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, I miss my friends a lot. Like really, my friends. Much as I would (or, would have) like to meet up & catch up with all the people who made me feel loved, I've never had the ability to arrange enough time for all of them. & for that, I'm sorry. ):

A friend said, "You always choose to make yourself so busy."

& I don't like that comment. I like being busy. I don't think I'm too busy, I just have my peak periods. Although my peak periods seem like they're all year round, they're not. Sometimes I really can't help it but be busy. There are committments which I have to & am willing to fulfil.

Not that I don't want to make time for all of you. To the best of my ability, I try to. But sometimes, I really don't control my own schedule.

I can't say "No" & just go. That is not me. Not what I would do. I cannot stand having nothing to do. Perhaps, my life is routined around activities. I can be still & have nothing to do, if I want to. Maybe I can choose to free myself up from all activities if I want to. But currently? I can't. & of course, I won't.

I just wish that you might all understand. Under all the tiredness, I've thoroughly enjoyed being busy, with the right group of people. Under all the busyness, I've thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this holiday that I've spent, not a slightest bit of regret. I've enjoyed meeting up with all the people that I've met up with (:

Thank you to those who made time for me too, to those of you who tried to accomodate to my schedule. Thank you. (:

There are some people that you can only be acquaintances with, some whom you can only work with, some whom you can be friends with, some whom you can share certain things with, some whom you can share a bit deeper, & some whom you can share almost everything to.

But there may always be a part of you that may be kept secret, known to no one.

2010-04-02T03:31:00.001+08:00

GERMAISE TAN JIANG LING CAN KILL ME! HAHAHA! My mother always thinks I'm mad, 'cause I'm always laughing at my laptop!!!

In 1 conversation:
1. She confessed to me HAHAHA!!!
2. I'm some red dancing jelly thing & she's some meat producing factory thing!
3. We became a basking team - I'm the dancing red jelly thing, she's the singer singing "You are my sunshine" & Lyana's the sexy bowl holder asking for money HAHAHA!!!
4. She went from germaise to CASSANDRA'S LOVER! HAHAHA!!! (& jiang thought it was me talking to her for a while!)
5. She became my knight in shining armour & I her Cinderella! (My 2 younger sisters are the evil stepsisters! HAHAHA!!! :D I LIKE THAT IDEA!)
6. She then turned into ZAO SIA (her translation? MORNING PRAWN when I meant OFF KEY!) HAHAHA!!!

SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I think her ability to make me laugh like mad & her thick-skinness is what makes HAHAHA. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

OKAY LAH, I LOVE YOU TOO TAN JIANG LING!!! HAHAHA!!!

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP AFTER GETTING SO HIGH?! & TOMORROW MORNING STILL GOT TO WAKE UP EARLY!!!

HAHAHA!!!

&&& what's wrong with youtube!!! I CAN'T PLAY ALL MY SUPERCHICK VIDEOS! D: But I found new songs that I liked! HAHAHA. Must download soon. :D

2010-04-02T01:20:00.000+08:00

I love Superchick's songs (: They always take the words right out of my mouth.

Go youtube them! <3

2010-03-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

From: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=465

Perhaps Voddie put it best. "For all you young women, when you hear guys say I am looking for a Proverbs 31 woman or a Titus 2 woman, I want you to look at them and say, ‘Well, I am looking for aTitus 1 man, what you got?'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well, just in case you're wondering, what's a Titus 1 man?

He is:
•blameless
•hospitable
•a lover of what is good
•self-controlled
•upright
•holy
•disciplined
•committed to the truth found in God's Word

He is not:
•overbearing
•quick-tempered
•given to drunkenness
•violent
•pursuing dishonest gain

(: Such an encouraging post!

2010-03-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

Stand in the rain - Superchick

She never slows down
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone
Feels like its all coming down

She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears
Whispering if she stands she'll fall down

She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from
Wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vR06wgPOJGI

An all time favourite, it's on repeat mode.

2010-03-27T16:07:00.000+08:00

Steel Magnolia - The Essence of Womanhood
The image melds beauty with perseverance, softness with backbone, delicacy with durability, sweetness with stamina.

http://www.girlsgonewise.com/archives/399

A new website to visit regularly! :D http://www.girlsgonewise.com/ :D

Skype-ing with Mysterious Manhong & fifi brings the meaning of Skype to a whole new level. I had no absolute idea that Manny was so crappy. HAHAHA. I love the first MSN conversation whereby she really believed that we were choinging stuff at KAP!!! :D At 2am in the morning. & all the talks about the ding dong laughters D: & mini languages D: HAHA. But it was really interesting to talk to them. Although, from a trilouge, it became a dialouge & then a monolouge ( I ended up talking to myself while they just laugh & laugh at me. D: ) HAHA. But nonetheless, night skype-ing sessions have made my night. I just love skype/oovoo. I kinda miss the night oovoo-ing sessions too. With Alee, Matty, Fifi, Jasmine, Jiang... (:

I keep having weird cravings these past few days. For the past week or so, I've been craving for fish non-stop D: Grilled fish, fish noodles, fried fish. You name it, I tried it. All within a course of a week :D HAHAHA. & I've been drinking soup almost every night lah! :D I love boiled soups.

Went for SU's campfire last night. IT WAS HILARIOUS. Seeing the 1/4 naked Khai, & him being so shy & all. HAHAHA. First time seeing him so awkward! :D Jasmine! Pictures on FB please! HAHAHA :D & I can't believe what we did last night after the campfire. HAHAHA. We took their unwanted styrofoam board and ran away! Next semester during attachment, I can go and camp in the log room & use up all the good unwanted materials for my lessons already! Hopefully I can save money then. HAHAHA.

2 more days!

2010-03-19T01:31:00.001+08:00

Ate at an Astons Restaurant for the first time ever :D It was not bad, we celebrated Fifi's birthday there :D HAHA. As usual, I got bullied/teased every now & then ): What's new? Haha. After dinner & cake, we went to this dome-like place to slack & HTHT. A mini one. (: It was quite a nice place (:

OH. The queue thing at Astons was horrible. Like for a table for 9 people, I had to get 7 orders before I'm allowed to sit in the restaurant. So I waited outside Astons for a super long time ALONE. ): After a long long while, Tecky came, followed by Ah Beh with the cake, & then Heather Sylvia Jeanne Eddie Jasmine & Fifi.

Hi Club camp tomorrow! Hopefully it'll be okay. &, results out tomorrow (: Mixed feelings of anticipation (:

STUPID HEADACHE. WHY DON'T YOU EVER GO AWAY!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?! D: HMPHHHHH. GRRRRRRRRRRR. GAHHHHHHHHHH. RAHHHHHHHHHHH.

This is extremely depressing news. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9QAbOjFqhg As a girl, I suppose we've all had that moments of ugliness. It's just how long it lasts, & how we deal with it. For some, sadly, the monster image of ourselves never go away. ):

2010-03-16T22:57:00.001+08:00

I just posted this on my new LiveJournal! :D HAHAHA. I think I'm going mad.

Hello friends. I have no idea why I am starting so many new blogs. After ten thousand years, I have finally gotten a LiveJournal just so that I can see my friends' posts. I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION OF BLOGGING HERE. So please, just refer back to blogger. I'm too used to my blogger website already. Almost my entire life's history (since June 2005) has been poured into that particular diary, though not everything. Some things are still best kept private. (: HAHA. IT'S BEEN A WHOOPING FOUR & A HALF YEARS ON BLOGGER. WOAHHH.

So there you see, I won't abandon my public journal in favour of something... NEW. & to think LiveJournal isn't the newest toy on the internet. Tumblr probably is. BUT THEN AGAIN. I JUST LEARNT HOW TO SOMEHOW USE LIVEJOURNAL, I'M NOT BOTHERING TO LEARN TUMBLR SO FAST. It looks tough anyway, & complicated. With all that re-blogging/posting thingy etc. D: & the inability of non-Tumblr users being allowed to comment is FRUSTRATING.

Anyway, why am I complaining about Tumblr when this is LIVEJOURNAL?! Okay, my ability to sidetrack & get distracted amazes me sometimes. HAHA. So my dear friends, if you intend to add me as your friend so I can view YOUR LIVEJOURNALS, please do so. Though I doubt I'll be posting anything here. Too lazy to update 2 diaries lah, FOR WHAT.

Just go to http://everythinginsilence.blogspot.com/ for your viewing pleasure & a glimpse into my life, colourful as it may be. :D

2010-03-16T22:38:00.001+08:00

:D Pretty slacked day today. Had HMS booth duty :D WAS HIGHLY ENTERTAINED BY SHAWN SIAU'S RANDOM OUTBURSTS OF SINGING & DANCING! HAHAHA! I don't think I will ever forget it. In fact, I bet Sylvia & I are both afraid of his HIGH moments already! D: HAHAHA.

Started this journal exchange thing with Lyana! HAHAHA. <3 It's really hard to wait till the next entry comes in, I'm just so excited about it. Wrote my first entry while slacking at the HMS booth. :D I can't wait for Germaise to join in too. Although the 3 of us rarely have time to meet up & catch up much, I hope this thing would help us all to constantly keep ourselves updated about each other <3 & I can feel the bond strengthening already! HAHA.

Anyway, I think I should prolly memorise some general/common/useful chengyus D: I'm gonna try speaking to Junxian in chengyus! D: MADNESS.

The past few days have been AWESOME. :D Caught up with the crescent family on Sunday, EVEN QIWEI CAME!!! Haven't seen her for close to 2 years already!!! HAHA. As usual, Wani pangsei at the last minute. Not surprised ): But I missed Yvette & Qiwei & Qiaoyi so much! I'm so glad that after 2 years, hanging out with them feels so much like home. We seriously made an impression on the service crew at PS's Swensens! HAHAHA.

Sat was really good, I'm really glad I promised Rei that I would go for ICE & I did. It helped me a lot, I've learnt so much. From the experience & wisdom of the older girls, I know I'm a step closer to forging closer bonds. <3

Monday was pretty unexpected too :D HAHA. Slacked around at the HMS booth in the morning & ended up going for DiD for the second time! :D HAHA. With really random people, like Jiang, Alee & Khai. HAHA. But I kept getting bullied in the dark D: Khai kept hitting my head D: & I couldn't find his in the dark D: & neither could I find my way to run away. ): Then I went to meet Kaiqi <3! & we ate at Jack's Place. ( Now I know why I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo broke. D: ) Anyway. We talked a lot a lot a lot & caught up so much, each sharing stories of our lives! I'm so glad for the openness between the both of us, it's been such a long time since I've last talked to her. Kaiqi, I'm so happy you're coming to ICE with me soon! :D <3 & then I went back to school for dinner with the HMS Exco :D Wt was hilarious with the annoying orange thing. HAHAHA. Love the video. (: & then, I headed to PS to meet Germaise to watch Nodame Cantabile. We shouldn't have watched it, considering we didn't watch the drama beforehand D: But the lead actor was not bad looking :D HAHA. & the music was REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY GOOD. I love concerts!!! But the movie was a little draggy, & the over-whelming use of cute japanese animations was killing both Germ & I D: haha. I really love the violinnnnnnnnnnnn! <3 I wanna learn it if I have the money. :D On my way home, of all people, I bumped into Khai. Shock of my life. Seriously. HAHA.

Okay I wanna sleep alreadyyyyyyyyyyy. Haven't slept early for ages. My dark circles & eyebags are killing me. Got to wake up early for some stuff tomorrow D: Nights! :D

Pictures from the Crescent meet up! :D

I really miss the Crescent family! <3

2010-03-13T03:32:00.001+08:00

I hear your cries, your screams of pain, your desires for help. But what do I do? What can I do? & beyond all that, perhaps there are even more.

Oh emotions, how complexed.

I feel it, I feel it, I really do. But like you, like all of you, I'm lost when it comes to all of you. Have I sunk myself in deeper than I've always wanted to?

You'll always say you're okay, when I know you're not. You'll always say don't worry, but how can I not? You'll always laugh & smile, or talk about other things. I don't know how to reach into your deepest sides.

& I'll go down on my knees.

Love Them Like Jesus - Casting Crowns

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus

I've always found this song a comfort, especially when I don't have the answers to all of life's questions. <3 & I can only carry you, all of you, to Him, as I pray tonight, & every night after tonight.

2010-03-12T03:04:00.000+08:00

GUESS WHAT. I ACTUALLY ACCIDENTALLY UPLOADED THE ENTIRE POST BELOW ONTO MY CLASS BLOG. ): NOW I'VE GOT TO RE-UPLOAD ALL THE PICTURES.

MORAL OF THE STORY: DON'T BLOG AT 2 PLUS AM. YOU WON'T BE FULLY AWAKE ):

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=454

A whole new perspective of what heaven is (: A very very very good reminder.

John Piper is dead on:
"Christ did not die to forgive sinners who go on treasuring anything above seeing and savoring God. People who would be happy in heaven if Christ were not there, will not be there. The gospel is not a way to get people to heaven; it is a way to get people to God. If we don't want God above all things, we have not been converted by the gospel" (God is the Gospel, 47).
(: I just love the focus of what the Gospel really is. It's not just a ticket to heaven, but it's a ticket to God. <3

Walked around town today to get some stuff! & I just realised that my itouch casing & screen protector's REALLY OLD & DIRTY ALREADY ): It's like! 2 years plus already. D: But thank you JX! For cleaning it for me :D Buttttttttttttttt. I need to get a new screen protector & itouch casing ASAP. Tried finding one today, but everywhere sells the 2nd Gen one onwards... ): & mine's 1st Gen. & the casing won't fit properly if I get the 2nd Gen one. But I like the teal casing for the 2nd Gen! D: OH WELLS.

Headed to Cityhall & met Amelia & Ruth. RUTHIE'S BIG DAY, HER BIG 20! HAHAHA! Celebrated her birthday for her! We blindfolded her all the way from Cityhall MRT to the Esplanade Rooftop & surprised her with birthday chickens! :D HAHAHA. Look at the pictures below for explanation :D MORE PICTURES ON FB! HAHAHA. & although Ruth is the birthday girl, Cherie, Amelia & I were camwhoring like mad with Eldora! HAHAHA. :D I love Eldora! Cherie loves her too! :D

HAHAHA. EVIDENCE OF OUR CAMWHORING SESSION :D & I think I overworked Eldora lah! D: She was getting a bit warm in my hands as I snapped away. :D HEE HEE. But I'm really glad I bought her, A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD INVESTMENT :D

Alrighty, toodles people :D I should try to sleep :/// Meeting tomorrow! 1pm to 6pm for me D: HAHA. Welcome to my 'holidays', filled with FOC! :D

But no regrets <3

2010-03-11T01:40:00.001+08:00

Today, finally, I think I'm starting to feel. How hurt, tired, drained, burdened, lost, & perhaps so much more. Different people, different problems. Yet all the same emotions. All the same hurts. All the same tiredness. All the same being drained. All the same burdened feelings. All the same sense of lost.

& becaue I finally felt that bit of emotions from all of you, I've managed to cry. In a long long time. To cry for all of you.

Psalm 42

To the Chief Musician. A Contemplation[a] of the sons of Korah.

1 As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?[b]

3 My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?”

4 When I remember these things,
I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.[c]

6 O my God,[d] my soul is cast down within me;
Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan,
And from the heights of Hermon,
From the Hill Mizar.

7 Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.

8 The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life.

9 I will say to God my Rock,
“Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”

10 As with a breaking of my bones,
My enemies reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

One of the most encouraging Psalms I've ever come across. <3

2010-03-11T00:19:00.000+08:00

金莎林俊杰 - 笨蛋

莎: 很多时候我因为怕受伤所以就选择先放弃我更因我太爱自由所以明明渴望爱情却依然不知怎样让别人进入我的世界.

杰: 难道我不能给你百分百的信心吗? 你知道我一直有多在乎你.

莎: 我珍惜这份安全感却又担心他的牺牲所以每天的感觉还是孤独的我还是需要一个人一个人想一想.

唱:
冰箱结霜咖啡滚烫
煮不好最简单的早餐
我的生活是一团混乱
维持单身感觉茫然
喜不喜欢习不习惯
我总是说不出个答案
一个人来又一个人往
怎么让他流连忘返

我不想当笨蛋
我在墙上写满渴望
我可以大哭一场
房间还是
空空荡荡
我绝对不逞强
该属于我任其自然
可是我也要安全感
在某个适当程度的主张
纵然是了解眼光也是温暖

杰: 这段日子你真的过得好吗?

莎: 没有你的早晨加了糖的咖啡也是苦的

杰: 当时我尊重你的要求所以我离开但这段日子你不开心所以我就回来了

莎: 也许我连自己要什么我也不知道我一个人游游荡荡自由久了也没有了目标梦里醒来发现墙上已经不自觉写满了你的名字

杰: 单身是茫然恋爱也彷徨我明白所以我用时间去证明了这颗心不会因为你曾经的放弃而改变

唱:
每个早上都想赖床
没有梦是最让人沮丧
我的眼睛盯着天花板
也跑不出任何对象

我不想当笨蛋
我在墙上写满渴望
我可以大哭一场
房间还是空空荡荡
我绝对不逞强
该属于我任其自然
可是我也要安全感
在某个适当程度的主张
纵然是了解眼光也是温暖

莎: 难道我真的是个笨蛋一直错过已经在身边的幸福

杰: 我们只是用时间找到了我们需要什么时间让我们认识了自己也肯定了对方

莎: 因为你让我知道真正的幸福是什么

A pretty sweet song. I love how the guy reassures the girl at the end. The willingness to wait, it's not easy.

2010-03-10T02:27:00.001+08:00

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=452

The blog posts on sleeping & eating stirs me to want to find out more about Elijah. Such a mysterious prophet to me. Haha. I don't know much, or rather. I don't know anything about him! D:

HQ was a blessing to me today. After close to a month, I plucked up my courage & got Ter to prompt me to share. HAHA. I really find it very very very hard to start sharing about something so... personal. When I started sharing, I felt so paisei I needed to cover my face. & I could only bear to peek through my fingers. HAHA. I felt so silly please. & I would prolly never share unless someone asks me about it. & if I start the sharing first, it means I trust her enough :D HAHA. Val's reactions were super funny! (: HAHA. But thanks for the advice girls. I'm glad I shared, I knew I needed the prayers & advice from you older girls :D

Skating with Ter was good :D Loved the breeze! Thank God I didn't need any plasters! :D But I fell down a couple of times D: I now have a scraped left knee & a bruised left palm D: I shall try to work on improving my skating skills! But I want guards! D: HAHA. :D

I've returned to Neopets for entertainment. What a boring yet busy life I lead. Oh the irony.

2010-03-09T01:56:00.001+08:00

It's past 1 am already. Time flies, even when you're slacking around at home.

Should I have looked for a job? Even a part time one, & should I have saved up more? :/ I don't know if picking rest over money's the right thing to do now. Rest & perhaps time. But over money? :/ In any case, I really shouldn't worry. (:

Memory Verse! Philippians chapter 4 Verses:
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I've had a headache for the past few hours. I hope nothing's wrong with me. At the very least, I think the puking episodes may be over. Thank God (: But my tummy still feels turbulent every now & then. Sometimes, it holds rock/heavy metal concerts inside, banging so loudly for food. Other times, it just refuses to open up to any food at all. & for the rest of the times, all food flows through it as though passing by a stream. D: I either, go without food for hours, like 10 plus hours that kind & not feel hungry, or, get hungry every 2 or 3 hours. -.-

I feel like a pig. Seriously, eat, sleep, shopping/movies, meetings. D: Thank God I'm gonna go skating with Ter tomorrow! :D I just hope, I don't fall as much as I think I will. I better bring lots of plasters along. >< HAHA.

P.S. I love my quote which is quoted on Daphne's blog:
We should marry someone as rich as Ben. But NOT Ben. --- Cassandra
HAHAHA. POOR BEN. But his dog, Trevor, is really cute :D HEE HEE. Suddenly so many people around me have dogs! HAHAHA. I better find a way to get dogs to like me without sniffing or licking me, FAST. (:

2010-03-08T01:12:00.000+08:00

Today was kinda random. HAHA. Firstly, Amelia & I really ended up wearing almost the same exact outfit! HAHA. It was kinda weird & scary to see someone in an almost identical outfit with you! Haha. Then we spent our day with like, no exact clue as to how to spend it. Slacked around in church after lunch until like, mid afternoon, then we went for Swensen's with Kong, Ian, Lilis, Elias & Jan, Chia Wen, Si Qian! :D & we played the card version of Boggle, not bad lah :D QUITE FUN! But the monopoly one was so hard to understand D: HAHA. Hock Cai & Kelvin & Mimi & Rei joined us after that. (:

We then shopped around, in the hopes of being able to get something for some person's birthday! (: HAHAHA.

Anyway, Amelia was totally blur please. Her & her movie vouchers which she failed to see the terms & conditions properly & got us both in such a panic. & her last min asking me to go & watch dear john, then cancelled, then on again -.- HAHA. Wanted to Alee to come watch dear john too! But she was too tired out. So at the very last minute, it was Tecky, me, Amelia & her friend, Zhong Wei. Haha. Kind of a weird combination of people, but I supposed it was okay in the end (:

Dear John was not bad, I expected myself to cry but I didn't. It's not a typical fairy tale love story, but it was nice in its own way. It was sad though, the endings, the way the characters all had to part with one another eventually... D: But it was nice (:

ALRIGHTY. I'M HUNGRY. BUT LAZY TO GET FOOD. ): HAHA. & I THINK THERE'S A ROCK CONCERT GOING ON IN MY TUMMY. & I'M LAZY TO BRUSH MY TEETH AGAIN. HAHA.

2010-03-06T11:29:00.000+08:00

The Dark Night of the Soul: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=450

We've all been through that. What really matters is how we fight it. I'm gonna read my Bible :D

2010-03-03T02:27:00.005+08:00

I've found a new blog that I like! :D http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/ HAHAHA. <3!

There are quite a few pretty awesome quotes in there, & I love the relevancy of the pictures to the quotes! :D A few personal faves! :D

HAHAHA. LOVE THE POST-IT NOTES <3! :D

2010-03-02T14:36:00.001+08:00

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=447

A very very very good reminder to me. I must sleep regularly. (:

Haha. Just came back from Exco retreat yesterday! (: It was, imprefect as it was. But still, enjoyable at every moment I had. Planning this whole retreat made me think quite a bit, made me learn. I've learnt that although you may have expectations, not everyone would meet up to your expectations. Not everyone bothers the way you bother. Not everyone cares the way you would care. But it's okay. Because you don't have to please everyone all the time. This world, honestly, isn't the happiest place. (: But then again, it's okay (: Because, beyond all these people who don't bother, there are the people out there who would love and support you. Who would care and bother about you. (: & thank you all.

The retreat was a slacking, nua-ing session again! HAHAHA. But it's okay lah, that's how we've always bonded. THE EXCO - Bonded through nua-ing together. :D Weiting saved us all from an entire night of boredom by starting the spark of playing card games (: & that cheered me up a whole lot! I love games! HAHAHA. I didn't get to use Eldora much this time round, but it's okay! :D Haha. Was super tired in church the next day. Rushed back to KAP for macs with the rest! (: Continued playing card games there, until we got scolded by the auntie D: Oh wells. Sheesh. & I'm sorry if my face was... As black as the thunderstorm & my eyes were turning red & watery :/ I just. Wasn't in the best of moods. I was still, a little depressed, irritated, frustrated, confused & then. Getting all my cards taken out of my hand so early in the game wasn't the best way to feel happy. I guess I was being a little irrational, feeling all upsetted & thinking, I might as well not play if I'm gonna be kicked out so early. Which basically almost caused the sudden mood swing. I suppose it doesn't help having to deal with lame excuses from people who disappointed me over and over again. Oh wells. But I still had fun, playing the games & all. & the sushi buffet (: Although I puked eventually when I thought I had to eat more food :S That started my tummy turning :S

Ah Beh was my mortal! Got him sweets in a tin can (: HAHA. I hope he likes it. KY's present was the funniest! HAHAHA. A photo frame with 4 pictures of himself. Poor Weiting (: HAHAHA.

I love HTHT sessions. I always learn something new, something deeper, something more about people. & in turn, it'll always break down part of my own defense wall. Perhaps I would become more vulnerable, but it also gives me the liberty to be more of myself. (:

2010-02-26T01:08:00.001+08:00

Oh my goodness. I'm too excited for words. HAHAHA!!!

I'M EXCITED ABOUT...
1. ELDORA'S ARRIVAL!!! <3!
2. TOMORROW'S MEETING WITH TAN JIANG LING!
3. EXCO RETREAT COMING UP!
4. SLEEPOVER AT SHURONG'S!
5. CLASS CHALET!

OH MY GOODNESS. I CAN'T STOP STARING AT ELDORA. ADMIRING HER. HER BEAUTY. HER CLASSINESS. HER ELEGANCE. HER TIMELESSNESS. <3!

HAHAHA. I SOUND LIKE A MAD LES WOMAN. Rest assure, my friends. I'm still straight. & ALWAYS WILL BE. Hahaha! Although Jasmine thought I was les?!?! All cause I was analyzing Alee's beauty in this certain really pretty picture. HAHAHA.

SO PRETTY RIGHT! HAHAHA I LOVE THIS PIC OF HER. PRETTIEST EVER. (:

2010-02-23T02:58:00.000+08:00

Camera advice, anyone?

http://www.canon.com.sg/p/EN/322-Digital-Compact-Cameras/825-IXUS/842-Digital-IXUS-100-IS/

Been thinking of getting a camera for quite some time already! I considered Canon Ixus 95 at first, the blue just looks so appealing! So fun! But it's only 10mp, & my phone's already 5mp. HAHA. So Germ kinda talked me into this one, Canon Ixus 100 :D I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE GOLD! It's so... classy, elegant, timeless. She likes the red though :D Pretty choice too! HAHA.

FINALLY. I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH YEAR 2! HEE HEE! CHN paper was wayyyyyyyyyy easier than expected! It was so straightforward! But the tips given by Philip made it seem like A LOT would be tested when... we didn't even touch anything on safety. HMPH. But at least I studied all that came out! :D

Anyway. After the Percy Jackson movie last week, I've been having a very strong urge... To go back to fencing, Sabre <3 I'm beginning to miss it all over again, the challenges, the speed, the wit... I really hope I can get the study award from NCSS so that I can take up fencing at prolly Z Fencing outside. It's really ex, but it's the best :D I wanna go on in Sabre! <3

Exco retreat this Sat! :DDD AWESOME. I can't wait! :D HAHAHA. & I'm so excited for night cycling!!! :DDD It's gonna be so fun! Hahaha, I just hope I'll be able to control my bike better & that not many people will be at ECP this weekend! :D

2010-02-22T01:52:00.001+08:00

http://www.boundless.typepad.com/podcast/

I'm loving this more & more. There're so much truths & real life experiences that I can identify with, with the different people on the podcasts :D I'm gonna listen to as many as I can! :D

2010-02-19T23:56:00.000+08:00

PEC IS FINALLY DOWN!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Although I think, I'm gonna miss the module D: It's my favourite favourite favourite module, because of the topics! Ah wells. & CHN's on the way, doomsday: Monday. Okay. HAHA. I really should get started on CHN but... I'm too lazy D: No mood!

D: Been having puking episodes lately... again. ): I really don't feel like going to the doctor's though... But I suppose I might. If I still puke again. Wednesday's & Thursday's was really baddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. I kinda puked my entire dinner on Wednesday, & got hungry again -.-

Last night's puking was. Horrible D: Right after eating at Swensen's, (We shared a lot of side dishes & got 1 sundae each! :D STICKY CHEWY CHOCOLATEEE! <3 One of the awesomest sundaes ever! HAHAHA.) Anyway. My tummy started turning upside down, inside out after I had Swensen's. D: Rushed to the toilet & puked. Haha, & Fifi & Jasmine thought I was bulimic. I promise I'm not. I will never ever ever stick my fingers down my throat to force the food up. Ewwwwwwwwww. I hate puking. But anyway. Yeah I just kinda felt real weird. & then as I walked to the bus stop, I had to pause by the roadside to puke again. I puked for very long lah D: So paisei D: & I felt bad for dirtying the plants by the roadside... & well. It was pretty apparent I wouldn't survive the bus ride home. & so, Chuan cabbed home with me to make sure I would survive going home. & thank God I did. Thanks Chuan! Although I feel quite bad for making him cab with me :///

Watched Percy Jackson last night with the exco too! :DDD LIKE FINALLY, I got to watch the show! HAHA. It's not bad lah :D & Fifi was so loud in the theatres! HAHAHA. All cause she couldn't hear herself talk. Alee & I had to shush her! HAHAHA. & right at the beginning of the movie, the show had to remind me of PEC exam. D: All that about dyslexia & ADHD. Oh wells. Yeah & then we went for Swensen's with Fifi's vouchers! :D Of which, mattyhan ah... HAHAHA. AH WELLS. Expected. & Matty's tastebud is seriously... Spoilt. HAHAHA. He couldn't taste the salt which Tecky poured into his cup lah! HAHAHA.

Ah I suppose I should start on CHN... But can I wait till tomorrow then study? D: I'm feeling real sianzxzx now. D: I'm kinda sitting around. Hoping I don't puke. HAHA. Oh wells.

2010-02-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

One of the FUNNIEST conversations I had in a long long long time. My friends never fail to amaze me. HAHAHAHAHA!

We were talking about the qualities & characteristics of our ideal boyfriends & this is what we got... :D

Rong Xuan: mine must be musically talented and love children :) yea then can go esplande with me

cass: mine must be gentlemanly, and romantic! hahahaha

Rong Xuan: i love concerts

cass. hahahaha mine must be sporting

Rong Xuan: mine no need sporting HAHA

cass. and must have a heart for community service HAHAHAHAHA

Rong Xuan: mine must sing lovely songs

Rong Xuan: we wont fight for bfs next time, dun wry, both difference alot

cass. I KNOW WHO CAN BE YOUR BF ALREADY

Rong Xuan: WHO WHO WHO

cass. THE RADIO

Rong Xuan: -.-

Rong Xuan: then u community chest

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love my Xuan, she never fails to crap me up & brighten my night up. PROMISE. WE'LL GET THE BEST, MOST IDEAL BFs EVER! HAHAHA! & best of all, Daphne Lee joined in the fun. Daphne's BF will be a TV cause she loves entertainment!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I SERIOUSLY CANNOT STOOP LAUGHING AT IT.

Xuan, you win liao. Seriously, of all answers, I will never ever expect to get a community chest for a boyfriend! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! <3!

2010-02-16T17:27:00.000+08:00

The aiport's internet is weirddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. Like seriously! Camped at the airport for the whole day with Lat & Siti, studying for PEC. For almost 4 solid hours, I did notes for... Autism. ONE CHAPTER ONLY. It practically killed me just to sort through all the notes. D: There're not much left of my right fingers anymore, after all the writing. Super sleepy. But at least I'm more than halfway through making notes & studying for PEC. CHN's up next. GRR.

Hooked on to I've got nothing by the Chart Jackers. It's a super cheesy but cute song. Plus it's written, composed & sold all for charity :D Makes me feel like buying... But yeah well. I didn't. I have no idea how to buy music off iTunes. It's so complicated, I'd much rather not touch it. HAHA.

Right. I should probably talk about CNY so farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Nothing much, only had visitations on the first day. Just that I felt extremely sick. I felt extremely nauseous for the whole day! D: It was so bad that I had to get off the bus halfway (I was on my way to church), puke by the roadside, and then cab home -.- Rah. & I barely ate anything. Whatever little that I ate came back up. & when there's nothing left, I puked gastric juices. Oh well. I was contemplating going to the doc's the next day, (Alee was threatening to show up on my doorstep if I didn't) but somehow (: I seemed to have gotten well. Much much better. I'm more or less able to eat? & no more puking! :D Weird tummy.

Last friday was Exco 09/10 reunion dinner! :D After trying to arrange for a place & time, we finally agreed on one whereby most people could make it (: & it was fun! :D haha, staying over at Matty's and all. Goodness. I love his Wii! HAHAHA. My fave games? The fishing one & boxing game! :D LIKE TOTALLY AWESOME GAMES. Okay, they were the only 2 games that I could win most of the time. HAHAHA. I kept losing for all the other games! D: No Wii talent mann. I wanted to go over to Nickboy's bar, BUT. It was too far away from Matty's house & we didn't have transport. I felt bad for pangseiing him D: Sorry Nickboy! D: Promise next time I'm around the area, I'll pop by! Oh but Mattyhan's place is nice at night! Like real serene & lovely. There were some stars too! :D Thak God for pretty creations like stars! :DDD Missed the Vietnam & Cambodia star gazing moments <3

Some of us stayed over! Mostly all the guys & then only Fifi & I. D: So much for HMS being a girls' school! HAHA. Anyway, we played this new drinking game! Mattyhan taught me. I drank the most lahhh. 4 or 5 cups of barcardi mixed with coke/sprite. & after that Xuan called me for a long long long HTHT :DDD <3 that girl, we've grown closer again lately :D While I was on the phone, the rest had a HTHT session. HAHA. We slept realll lateee. Like 4plus, 5plus. Hee hee. & I couldn't wake up the next day! & the rest came to disturb me till I woke up D: And thanks to Fifi & Chongtak, all my embarrassing stories were once again taken out for entertainment. D: HAHA. Ah wells, I'm used to it already, although it was still embarrassing!

Had breakfast at Mattyhan's place then we went to hang out at White Sands for a while. Till Jasmine came! :DDD & then we went to Chuan's house to play with Snowy again. I'm getting on better terms with Snowy now... HAHA. Soon lah, we'll be BFFs. :D

ALRIGHTY. I'm tired of recounting. Gonna play some games or something before I head back to face ADHD. Should be better than Autism I guess. :D

2010-02-15T15:38:00.000+08:00

I love HighQuest. Seriously, it is one of the best commitments I've ever took upon, & I'm glad I was so excited for the 2nd part of it. :DDD It really is blowing my mind away, each time I read the verses, contemplate upon them, meditate upon His Word (:

Although I still struggle to make a concious effort to do HQ daily, I can honestly say it has been getting better & better. Once I start reading, the Holy Spirit just takes over & shows me the truth in His Word, setting me free time & again (: I feel so... liberated, reading His Word. & when the Holy Spirit has enlightened me, I know I have once again grown in my spiritual understanding. But of course, that alone is not enough. & I truly appreciate the personal respond section. :D

Last week's Day 4 reading was awesome. Although... regretfully, it was only today that I caught up & did it, but I'm glad I did. It was on Col 1:3-14:

Their Faith in Christ
3 We give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, 4 since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of your love for all the saints; 5 because of the hope which is laid up for you in heaven, of which you heard before in the word of the truth of the gospel, 6 which has come to you, as it has also in all the world, and is bringing forth fruit,[a] as it is also among you since the day you heard and knew the grace of God in truth; 7 as you also learned from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant, who is a faithful minister of Christ on your behalf, 8 who also declared to us your love in the Spirit.

Preeminence of Christ
9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood,[b] the forgiveness of sins.

I was blown away by the depth of God's wisdom, His brillance, His majesty. There is no way I can ever fully understand His perfect will, or His wisdom. But I am thankful that I can ask Him to grant me His understanding, even a small amount of it would prolly suffice my little mind. Having an omniscient God certainly puts me into place, I am but a tiny human, yet He loves me beyond anything. Mind-blowing, eh? :D

Something that struck me deep. That I may walk worthy of Him, fully pleasing Him. This further affirmed my desire to be a godly woman, one truly seeking after His own heart, allowing no one else to captivate me till it is in His time.

An excerpt from http://www.key2ourhearts.blogspot.com
In the Song of Solomon, we are charged three times not to "awaken love until it so desires." Now, you may be thinking,"Hey, I desire to awaken love when I kiss a boy or something." But the verse doesn't say to awaken love when you desire to, but when love desires to. And since "God is love" (1 John 4:16) we should awaken love in His timing, not ours.

Although I've learnt it before, but I've forgotten. How do I know what I do is pleasing to Him? 2 ways, the Bible clearly points out.

1. Be faithful in every good work
2. Increase in the knowledge of God

& from now on, my mind will be fully focused upon the things of eternal value. Not on temporal things, but on His things.

Phil 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

(: & before I make decisions or react, I will ask myself if doing so will please God & how so.

2010-02-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

Hooked onto this song! :D

Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

I don't know, this song is attractive in a... Beautiful, mysterious way. It's pretty captivating. I love the melody & the tune, how the song was sung & all. It's just so... A little magical in the sense. A little mysterious feeling :D HAHAHA.

Bought a lot of new dresses this year! 3 dresses already! 1 casual, 1 beach wear kind, 1 semi formal kind :D & Charmaine just gave my sisters another turquiose dress that I love! :D Casual dress. & I'm so glad I can fit it! HEE HEE. I must wear it soon. But I wanna get leggings to go with that first. It's like a long top.

I can't wait for Reunion dinner with the 09/10 Exco on Friday! :DDD Hopefully we'll have AACE outing after that! & we can stayover at Matty's! WHOO! Haha. I wanna go to Nick boy's bar for AACE outing! :DDD It's near Matty's place!

Can't wait. I'm into the 'baking' no-bake cakes lately :DDD EXPECT DELICIOUS CREATIONS FROM ME SOOOOOOOOON!

& I'M SO GLAD I SURVIVED 2.2. 1 LAST STUPID FLASH PROJECT TO DO! MUST DO WELL! :D

&&&. I don't know what's happening with all of us. When one pretends, I suppose the rest of us follow. I just hope it's not a show we're putting up to fool ourselves & the people around us. I'm tired of second guessing anyone.

2010-01-28T10:12:00.000+08:00

LORD PROP US UP

Every time I am asked to pray, I think of the old deacon who always prayed, 'Lord, prop us up on our leanin' side.' After hearing him pray that prayer many times, someone asked him why he prayed that prayer so fervently.

He answered, 'Well sir, you see, it's like this... I got an old barn out back. It's been there a long time; it's withstood a lot of weather; it's gone through a lot of storms, and it's stood for many years.. It's still standing. But one day I noticed it was leaning to one side a bit. So I went and got some pine poles and propped it up on its leaning side so it wouldn't fall.

Then I got to thinking about that and how much I was like that old barn. I've been around a long time.

I've withstood a lot of life's storms. I've withstood a lot of bad weather in life, I've withstood a lot of hard times, and I'm still standing too. But I find myself leaning to one side from time to time, so I like to ask the Lord to prop us up on our leaning side, 'cause I figure a lot of us get to leaning at times.
Sometimes we get to
leaning toward anger,

leaning toward bitterness,
leaning toward hatred,
leaning toward cussing

leaning toward self pity,
leaning toward a lot of things that we shouldn't.

So we need to pray, 'Lord, prop us up on our leaning side, so we will stand straight and tall again, to glorify the Lord.''

- Author Unknown

Interesting, ain't it? (:

2010-01-28T10:02:00.000+08:00

http://glcc-uth.blogspot.com/2010/01/blessed-be-your-name.html

I like this post. (: I really do. It brings me back to examining my heart, & I've been looking at what treasures I've been holding. & sometimes we never really know how much we treasure something until it's being taken away from us. But, indeed.

Job 1:21 And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

2010-01-24T15:04:00.000+08:00

Can't Cry Hard Enough - Bellefire

I'm gonna live my life
Like every day's the last
Without a simple goodbye
It all goes by so fast

And now that you've gone
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

Gonna open my eyes
And see for the first time
I let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite

There it goes, up in the sky
There it goes, beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

Gonna look back in vain
And see you standing there
When all that remains
Is an empty chair

Heard this song at the YMCA cafe outreach on Friday night. & it really tugged at my heart. I do wonder, what if the issue between the 4 of us never gets resolve? What if we never get back to being the same anymore? Will we look back & regret? Can we put in more effort to love and accomodate each other? Can we try to empathize & see things from each other's perspective? Can we even be honest with one another? Will we treasure the last year we have together, or are we gonna just throw it away just like that, each going on her own way. I just hope we make the right choice. All 4 of us. <3

2010-01-04T22:40:00.001+08:00

Monday blueees! Haha. But I still had a pretty awesome day :D Felt so healthy today! Hee hee. Woke up an hour later than expected 'cause Sheena didn't go to school at the last minute. So! Went to school, had breakfast & did project! We were so efficient! :D Although we were constantly distracted by this Astrology thing that Jelly told us about, HAHA. But I still thank God that by His grace, we managed to finish all the discussion etc by lunch time! Did some FP stuff after lunch & then... FINALLY went to the gym with Latifah! :D Love the gym sessions with her. Although it was pretty tiring... Had an apple for dinner :D HAHA. So healthy eh! But I wasn't exactly hungry lah. Hi Club after that (: Kinda miss signing. Buttt. It was kinda sleepy lesson, Latifah & I were totally worn out after gyming. & we all had to start planning for the formations for the closing ceremony. & I found out that Joanne quit! D: No wonder I haven't been seeing her around.

Post on Cambodia trip
The one thing I remember the most about the Cambodian food is that they'll put A LOT A LOT A LOT of vegetables like big onions, spring onions, parsley, corriandor & don't know what into the bowl of noodles soup. It has proved to be a lethal combination for me, seriously. The moment the bowl of noodles arrived, I smelled the parsley & I began to feel nauseous. But it has already been ordered, so I just ate it. Or tried to eat it anyway. Had the same bowl of noodles twice, on day 2 & day 9. & both days, after eating, I'll just puke. Just puked out everything I ate. I couldn't take it! D: Day 2 wasn't so bad. But day 9 almost killed me lah. I kept puking, for like, 10 mins? & I continued to feel nauseous throughout the day. Every now & then, my tummy would retrench & I would feel a wave of puke coming through, except that there was nothing left in my tummy to be puked out. D: Oh wells. But other than that, I'm perfectly fine with all the food there! Hee hee. Ohohoh! & I'm so so so thankful for Mimi, she's really been a great blessing to me. Everytime anyone is sick, she'll rush over & help. Especially with my constant puking & retrenching, she always massages me & applies medicated oil for me! Thank you Mimi <3!

Our breakfast table on day 9!

Mimi rubbing my temples for me! It's supposed to help (: Thank you love! :D

http://www.goducate.org/
End of Cambodia post!

2010-01-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

I love Sundays! God's day (: Today there are three thanksgiving! Woke up at 7.50am this morning! Super late! But somehow, amidst all the rush & messiness, my sisters and I managed to leave the house by 8.30am! & much to our delight, & really thank God, the bus came just as we were reaching the bus stop! :D Awesome, ain't it! Thus, we didn't have to cab to church! Can save money :D & I wanna thank God that I didn't fall asleep during sermon today! HAHA. 'Cause I stayed up pretty late last night doing stuff. But thank God for keeping me awake! (: &&&! I wanna thank God for blessing the time spent with Henrietta today <3 It's amazing how similar our tastes can be in terms of fashion, & I've hardly gone through a day without arguing with her. I'm glad today was fun & there was just sweet fellowship between the 2 of us. (:

Post on Cambodia trip!

One of my favourite days spent at Cambodia was the day at the tourist beach, the one on the day before the youth camp started. It was Henrietta's birthday & Anabelle & I just decided to throw her into the beach! :DDD HAHAHA SUPER FUN. In the end, I got dragged down as well. & after that, 5 girls, namely me, Henrietta, Joan, Anabelle & Yvonne, grabbed hold of Ian & dragged him all the way down into the sea! HAHAHA. It was AWESOME YEAH! Felt some we complete some super mission or something. COOL EH.

& after dragging Ian down, I had massage in the shade for US$3! SUPER RELAXING! I was so amazed at the lady's skills! She appeared to be almost 60! Super cool! It's quite sad that they have to come out & work so hard for money despite their age. However, I was very impressed by the way she earns her money, hard earned money! Their sense of independency & desire to work & support themselves is indeed commendable. Okay, maybe it isn't a desire, maybe it's a need. But still, I'm very impressed by the resilience they have shown despite all that their country has gone through.

OH & I BOUGHT EXTREMELY CUTE BOXERS TOO! Okay my sisters & I! Show you guys some pictures!

The lady in blue is the AWESOME lady who massaged me even though I was damp & sandy from playing in the beach. (:

These are the AWESOME boxers that my sisters & I bought, for only US$3! :D Mine's the funky green polka dots one, Samantha's the grey interesting one, & Henrietta's the cute blue hearts one! I wanted to cute blue hearts one too! But there was only one! HAHA. But it's okay, I like my funky cute green polka dots one too! :D

http://www.goducate.org/
End of post on Cambodia trip!

Hey you. I'm really not upset about whatever you girls have been talking already. It's just that. I suppose at that moment when I wasn't let in, I just felt so left out. Not just from you girls... But honestly, from everyone. & it's been a struggle for quite sometime already. It's been really tiring & there have many impulses on which I do feel like leaving, calling it quits once & for all. But God just keeps bringing me back, showing to me to hang on. I really don't care for all the coloured people & animals you girls have been talking about. I just. Wanted to feel included for a while I suppose. But if being included is at the expense of others' reputation, I don't wanna be included anymore. I'm making a resolution to not say anything about anyone if I can't say something constructive. I want to curb the sin of gossiping. & I hope that you too, my dear, can see that. It's something which I believe many young women need to learn & let us let God teach us & help us. I want to have clean lips before my King of glory. That's why I've been quite quiet recently. It's not that I'm upset, or sian. But it's because I don't have any comments & I don't want to make comments that aren't edifying & God-glorifying. Thank you for always praying for me. I never knew I gave advice like woah, haha. It's gonna be hard to try to be close once again, but you have my promise that I'll try. <3

2010-01-02T23:22:00.001+08:00

Today I thank God for something really amazing! It's wonderful how He protected me & kept me dry throughout the evening! When I went out, the sky was grey & cloudy. But me being the usual lazy girl, I didn't bring an umbrella with me. Thank God the rain only started after I got up the bus! :D & I was on the bus thinking, Oh no, I didn't bring an umbrella! Later sure get wet! But amazingly, God allowed the rain to stop before I had to alight! & so I didn't get wet! :D & as I walked home, I saw the puddles of water on the floor & I was so delighted at how God kept me dry & I didn't get caught in the rain at all! :D

Post on Cambodia!

It's amazing what I did in Cambodia. I ate something I never, ever thought I would eat. Something that sounds repulsive to the mind & brings disgust to the stomach when mentioned. It is... BALUK! :D For all of you who don't know what baluk is, it's the half-grown duck embryo in the egg thing. Yes, horrendous as it sounds, I finished an entire egg on my own! HAHA. It tasted like egg yolk. & although I don't like egg yolk, the baluk was edible. With the help of lots of the plum powder mixed with lemon juice sauce thing. :D I was pretty apprehensive & excited at eating it! HAHA. Ate it with Claudia, one each! We ate it by the beach, on the night before the camp with the Goducate kids! Alrighty, let the pictures do the talking! :D

Claudia & I eating the Baluk under the encouragement & reassurance from Mimi & Nini! HAHA :DDD

Me looking EXTREMELY UNGLAM while eating the Baluk. Claudia almost caught me with an even more unglam face :X HAHA.

http://www.goducate.org/

End of Cambodia trip post! (: Goodnight world!

2010-01-01T23:34:00.010+08:00

2010 is HERE! HAHAHA :DDD Spent the countdown with Germ, Puii & Qiao! I can't believe Qiao's allowed to stay over, LIKE FINALLY!!! But it feels funny without Lyana D: Oh but the crazy things we did in the middle of the night! HAHAHA. We played some questions game, had pillow/blanket/mattress fight, cabbed to Geylang at 3am to buy 2 Mao Shan Wang durians at $42 after discount to eat, combed the streets of Geylang for Tao Huey, & the annual go to town in old shirt & FBTS on the first day of the new year! Haha went to town to accompany Qiao to buy her crumpler for her huang da ge.

Under the Crumpler's shop influence, I'm beginning to like crumplers! But I like the one with the shape & slot for the laptop. The brown & red one! I like the brown & orange one too! HAHA. But it's so ex! Like, hundred plus for 1 crumpler :X

Anyway, I promised to try to blog a post a day on the Cambodia trip for the Goducate competition! The portion on the Cambodia trip will be in blue okay!

The saddest memory that will always be etched in my mind is the scene of watching a little boy scavenge for food among the rubbish bins. I felt so helpless, words cannot describle the the rush of sorrow I felt for the little boy. He lives from day to day, really not knowing when his next meal is. He goes from rubbish bin to rubbish bin, opening food boxes after food boxes. & when he sees the food box empty, he immediately closes it & throws it back in. He then toss away the useless things in the rubbish bin & searches for the next food box.

I was with Kong & Samantha when it happened. I was the first to notice him scavenging for food. Kong unknowingly threw a packet of unfinished crackers into the bin. He didn't see the boy as his back was facing the rubbish bin. The boy immediately grabbed the packet & held it so closely to himself. Samantha then gave the boy her bottle of water. I didn't have anything with me to give. As we walked into our guesthouse, I decided to run to my room & get a couple of bottles of water for him. But when I got back down, he was already gone. I sat by the rubbish bin, wondering. What would happen of him if he didn't manage to find any food for the day? He looked to be about 9, 10 years old. He ought to be in school, not on the streets scavenging for packets of leftover food.

After this incident, I am all the more resolved to not waste food. To be thankful that I have regular meals daily, to be happy with the kind of food I have. Food isn't a choice for them, it's a necessity. Yet for the most of us here in Singapore, food has become a choice, no longer just a necessity.

Found a post on Goducate relating to feeding the poor! :D Although this happened in Philipines & not in Cambodia, but it still tugs at my heart's strings! Go check it out!
http://www.goducate.org/voice-of-the-helpless-1.html#comment-131

End of Cambodia trip posting for the day!

In 2010, I resolved to post a thanksgiving everyday! I want to praise God everyday, for His mercies are new everyday & so is His faithfulness.

& for the first day of the new year, I thank God for the random, fun-filled quality time spent with my secondary besties. (: ESPECIALLY WONG QIAO YI. Seeing as how this is the first time she joined us! :D I hope this will be a tradition that will continue every year! <3

2009-12-29T10:12:00.000+08:00

Back from Cambodia!!! :D <3! I'm gonna wait for the pictures to be uploaded before I post about the trip! Anyway, check out this website yeah!

http://www.goducate.org/

I'm gonna try & see what I can do for the kids there in Cambodia!

& try to pack my room! HAHAHA. My place is sooooo messy again. & I kinda lost 2 souvenirs that I brought home... Lost it in my home -.- Haha. I wanna go back to Cambodia! &&& I didn't have enough shopping time! D: But I had awesome HTHTs with Ruthie & Ameliaaa! <3

Gonna catch up on my work now! :/ Got tons to do!

2009-12-15T22:26:00.001+08:00

Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

This song speaks volumes.

My head hurts. Right from the head to the toe. Is it just me or is it supposed to hurt? I think I'm not feeling well. With a million & one things to do.

Think I'm gonna bury myself in work.

I'd much rather stay outside 24/7. 'Cause there's nothing to look forword to going back.

2009-12-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

3 nights ago, I felt a slight panic. I had 2 essays due 4 days later, 1 30% & the other 40%. Yet somehow, in the stillness on Wednesday night, I just felt like the assignments were not as important as what I thought. I had to do them, eventually. But somehow, I just needed that time to talk to God, a long long talk. & indeed, peace He giveth.

Thursday & Friday was over before I knew it, & I had barely started on any of my essays. Did about 1/4 of an essay? Haha. Thank God for the ITA test, I only didn't manage to do 1 task! & it's so awesome that the deadline for the video project has been pushed back (:

I should have been feeling stressed. But I wasn't. Slight bouts of panic here and there but that was all I felt. Perhaps I'm finally learning what it means to surrender, what it means to place Him above all, & what it means to trust Him in anything & everything.

Camped at the JE library from 4pm to 9pm both yesterday & today. Despite the short time frame to do my essays and research, somehow He provided. He gave me the peace, the concentration, the energy to even complete both essays in 5 hours each. :D How awesome can my God be! :D

I was actually contemplating if I should go for RML. I really wanted to go for it, since it was for charity. But. Even charity doesn't come above God. Sunday is His day. & I will keep the Sabbath holy, for Him, for me to stop working, for me to rest, & just marvel in the blessings and mercies He has given unto me despite me not deserving them.

Read this off Germ's blog a couple of months back. It has served to remind me to be wise in spending my time.

Deuteronomy 5:15

Exodus 20:11
Exodus 31:17
Hebrews 4:9
Isaiah 40:28

"In the next 24 hours, we will feast, sing, pray, sleep, worship, and sit at the table talking about God — just because we can." I want to do this EVERY SUNDAY. Not just on Sunday mornings but, the whole Sunday. Because He set aside that day for me to realign my priority, my focus. & that day to just be with Him. <3

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002122.cfm#notes

I spent an amazing morning in church today, just worshipping Him. With not just my lips, but with my heart. It was as though there was just me and Him, surrounded with the music & the lyrics. I felt so joyful to just be in His presence once again. & His peace stayed with me, throughout the whole of today. Even when I pushed back the timing to go to the library, just so I could spend a little more time at home with my mum in the afternoon. I felt no panic or uncertainty. (:

If today was your last day on earth, would you spend it doing what you did today?

For today, I'm pretty sure I would. <3 'Cause although I didn't do any important things today, I had His peace, love, joy, comfort, assurance & hope residing in me.

Like A River Glorious (A song I sang in church today)
Chorus:
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest.
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

Thank You God, turn my heart so that it will constantly be stayed upon Jehovah. <3

2009-12-03T03:31:00.001+08:00

Time can always be rearranged.

Take time to be still.
Take time to be in His presence.
Take time to talk to Him.
Take time to marvel at His wonderful creations.
Take time to listen to what He has to say.
Take time to seek shelter in Him.
Take time to rest in Him.
Take time to read His Word.
Take time to worship Him.
Take time to just be with Him, in thoughts, in mind, in spirit.

& out of the 24 hours He has given me, it is only fair that I spend some time with Him. To just be soaked in His holy presence. <3

I just love the wee hours of the night. Yes, I should be sleeping, I should be resting physically. Yet, it's so often that it is at this timing that I come to a realization. That I need to rest my soul spiritually. That I need to come to Him. I need to reflect. & although I should be working on my SF & DPIP essays, they suddenly don't seem so important anymore. Not as important as Him. Not as important anymore, because I know He holds my essays in His hands. Glorifying Him through my studies isn't just bout doing well. It's about centering Him in my life & trusting in Him that He will see me through step by step. I can't see my future, much as I try to plan where I want to go & what I want to do. But He sees it. & He knows it. <3

2009-12-02T23:03:00.003+08:00

It was an eventful week last week. An entire week of feeling down left me drained & tired. At times, I really wish I could disappear & come back to find that everything's alright, but that never happens. Still, thank God for seeing me through, decisions, emotions, thoughts. Nothing's really getting better, but at least. I will live through it on His Grace.

Wanted to post more but. A sudden desire not to.

Jesus Take The Wheel - Carrie Underwood
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
she was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

Oh I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh take it take it from me
Oh

At some point or another, this song just feels so personal. Like, I'm the girl in the story.

2 Cor 10:5
casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

& I surrender, I will learn to submit it all into Your hands, for You hold my tomorrows, & because of that, I live. Because of that, I know I'm safe no matter what happens. I will learn to be secured in You.

Blown away by the video, I'm once again reminded of why I'm even here. <3

2009-11-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

Why is it that.
Sometimes you just want to cry all day.
But nothing ever comes out.
& it's all choked up inside.
& sometimes you just feel like you can't breathe.
Yet somehow.
You still manage to breathe.

But, I will trust.
Psa 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

& I will learn to seek shelter & comfort in You.

2009-11-26T02:21:00.000+08:00

会有那么一天 - JJ LIN

一九四三世界大战
阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多
他们感情很深
但是爷爷身负重任
就在离乡的那夜
给了阿嬷一个吻
轻声说道

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

夕阳西下鸟儿回家
阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫
眼神却很温柔
看著爷爷湿透的眼
握著他粗糙的手
阿嬷的泪水开始流
轻声说道

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

我爱你

Sweet love song. <3 I'm totally hooked onto it! HAHA <3

2009-11-23T14:14:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, 15 Nov, was AWESOME! Hahaha. It was lovely spending the night with Germaise & Lyana. Well... Since Germ requested I shall update on what THEY did to me (: haha.

Church in the morning & then HQ. Thank God for a successful sharing & meeting up for HQ every week so far! :D

Met Lyana in the late afternoon to just shop around town before we went to redhill MRT to wait for Germ. It was nice just catching up; sharing about life with Lyana, just the two of us at Redhill.

Germ finally came (: & we bus-ed down to somewhere quiet. They blindfolded me in the bus! & it was DID in real life! They linked my arms & walked me down to streets, cross roads, making me guess where we were. Haha. Well, we finally arrived at this place where I heard some laughters, a relatively soothing background. There was some light music, & they told me we were near a pub. Interesting eh. Apparently we had to wait for our turn. We waited for quite a while, & finally! They started to lead me to a short platform of stairs. I then had to sit on a weird seat, and then a person started strapping me! I was shocked, even though I actually guessed where we were already but they refused to tell me. So I asked.

Me: Where are we? Why must strap?!?!
Person: Oh we're going for a boat tour, you don't know?
Me: HUH WHAT BOAT TOUR?!
Person: Hippo boat tour!

Shock of my life!!! I was seriously trying to feel for the breeze & feel for water splashes. & hear for water & motor sounds. Seriouslyyy!!! Eventually they took off the blind folds. & I found myself staring back at a crowd of people, & Germ on my right & Lyana on my left. & as I blinked to get my eyes adjusted to the scene, the person who bluffed me pointed to somewhere in the middle & said, "The camera's in the middle!" Oh & I saw the spherical thing & YES GUESS WHERE WERE WE!!!

SINGAPORE'S G-MAXXX!!!!

YES HAHAHA OH MY GOODNESS LAH I WAS SO SO SO EXCITED!!! But germ was nottt! She was screaming like mad before the thing even took off! HAHAHA. But the scene from up in the sky was beautiful! :D &&& they sang me a birthday song up there. HAHA. Thank you loves! Ohohoh. & when I came down, it was only then that I realised the camera was right in front of me, 'cause I was in the center! D: HAHA. But it was super fun nonetheless. & sitting it with 2 besties made it all the more EXCITING & MEMORABLE! <333!

Thank you two, for making my 18th really sweet & memorable, so exciting & it was so ex! I feel the pinch for you two :/// & I'm really really really thankful that I've two awesome friends whom I wouldn't trade for anybody else in the world! Thank you two, for remembering my birthday, for planning the surprise, for taking the time & effort & wearing a dress with me & for everything everything. Not just this birthday surprise (:

Thank you two, for being there for me, for encouraging me when I was down, for giving me hugs & shoulders to lean & cry on, for all the random love sms-es & the late night phone calls from time to time, & simply, just for all the love you've showered upon me. I know I can share just about anything & everything with you two & it'll be safe <3

I promise, 10 years down the road, let's go & take the thrilling rides again! :DDD

<3 youuu twoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

2009-11-14T18:00:00.000+08:00

I'M A SUPERRR HAPPY GIRL! :DDD

Made a lot of decisions this week. (: God's been showing me pretty clearly what He wants for me, yet I've been holding on, stubbornly, foolishly. But I'm glad I've decided to let go, once and for all. I really dread each Tuesday & Thursday, each time I think about having to go. Each time wondering if the other girls were going, if they were staying. & I always feel guilty about saying I'll be going yet, never turning up because I back out at the very last minute. Part of me still wants to train, still wants to go. So I suppose I'll go if only the other girls are really going, but no pressure. I'm not gonna pressure/stress myself out all over again. No more of that, it's been taking such a toll on me. No more (:

In case you're wondering what I'm talking about, it's fencing.

2009-11-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

Hahaha yes, people are asking me to update already. Anyway, I'm finally EIGHTEEN!

YES. E-I-G-H-T-E-E-N! :DDD

To all who wished me & gave me cards, notes, presents... thank you all <3! Haha, & to all who put in that extra special effort to make my birthday a memorable one, thank you <3 too! :DDD

Well, basically what happened on Tuesday was this.
In the morning, Sheena pretended to not know that it was my birthday! So she asked me, "Why today wear so nice?" How was I to answer! I just said 'cause I was going out for dinner. When I reached school, I saw Salad & Grace lighting up a mini cake for me! Thank you to you three! :D HAHA. It's been awesome, having QT sessions with the 2 food monsters, Sheryl & Sheena! Then, Siti & Latifah made me wear this sash proclaiming that it's my 18th birthday during EA lecture! HAHAHA. Then they did this to me during lunch in the middle of canteen 3!

Yeah well, courtesy of CHONGTAK who uploaded it. So basically I looked like that from lunch time till about 6plus when Jia wen came round & kindly helped me to wash off the make up. Oh yeah & I had pink hair, the BZSE guys happened to have pink dye with them, so they dyed my hair pink too! D: Every year on my birthday I have to look like a clown! Last year too!

Played a round of Sardine that day! :D & KY lost. Haha. Righty, so we went to Bukit Timah Plaza's Pizza Hut for dinner :D WE WERE LIKE PIGS, SERIOUSLY. 5 of us, me, Chongtak, KY, Jamie (Daphne) & JasmineAh, shared a large pizza. & on top of that, we had a Hut's platter, & an individual pasta! WOAH. At the end of it, I was about to die from all that food! HAHAHA. & Madd once again spoiled part of the birthday surprise. Haha, Xiao Long Bao was whispering & asking her where something was. & she replied, "With Fiona, with Fiona." So I turned & said, what thing with Fiona? & she happily replied, "The cake." HAHAHA. Cute little dong dong blur queen lah this girl! :D So I knew about the cake.

After eating at Pizza Hut's, we hang around, played silly nonsense & waited for the CYA people to come from their meeting. After they came, they sang me a birthday cake & Ronny brought the cake to me. Thank you all for the birthday surprise! & that was not all. They blindfolded me & made me eat a spoonful of cake that was piled with cheese & chilli powder & tobasco sauce! I took a mini bite & spit it out! D: HAHA. Then they made KY eat the remaining cake as his forfeit. (The scandal with him has to stop please. D:) Anyway, they proceeded to surprise me with this huge board of post it notes of wishes from LAC people! (: & they appeared outside the window!!! Happiest shock of my life! SUPER COOL LAH! :DDD

Madd's super cute present! :DDD <3 this silly girl to bits! :D

Haha & Jeanie, Amelia, Ruthie, Zhang Shuo, Hock Cai & Trevor came over to celebrate my birthday too (: Thank you friends! It was awesome & I'm so glad you all remembered my birthday! (: Headed to KAP to find LAC people (theymoved there) & we did a flashmob there. FUNNY! HAHAHA the manager was quite stunned that no one bothered about him when he told us to keep quiet 'cause we were already in the midst of the flashmob! :D

HAHAHA. YES. ANYWAY. THANK YOU ALL!!! <3

Been online shopping quite a bit. Saw a few things I really really really. D: & Very few things catch my eye when I go shopping!

Super CUTE RIGHT! :DDD Wt's friend has it! D: 16 bucks. Should I...? :///

I'll be ABSOLUTELY HAPPY EVERY SINGLE DAY WEARING THIS PAIR OF SLIPPERS!!! <333 12 bucks. SHOULD I? D:

I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS SUPER CHEERY DRESS!!! D: 15 bucks. SHOULD I? :/// I'm quite scared buying online clothes! D:

Oh wells. Let me post some HMS holiday pictures! :D <3 the times with the EXCO :D

I was seriously super entertained & fascinated by the HUGE LEAF! :DDD

<3 THE LEAF!

JASMINEAH'S SUNGLASSES! <3 HAHAHA. I kinda miss my swing-y hair a little! :D

That's all for tonight folks! I've got 3 lesson plans to rush. & Philip Koh's my field supervisor! More stress! D: I hope I survive through 2 Dec! :D

2009-11-08T22:34:00.000+08:00

Learn To Fly - A1
When you feel the dream is over
Feel the world is on your shoulders
And you lost the strength to carry on
Even though the walls may crumble
And you find you always stumble through
Remember never to surrender to the dark
Cuz if you turn another page
You will see that’s not the way
The story has to end

And if you need to find a way back
Feel you’re on the wrong track
Give it time, you’ll learn to fly
Tomorrow is a new day
And you will find your own way
You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry
Then you’ll learn to fly

In your head, so many questions
The truth is your possession
The answer lies within your heart (within your heart)
You will see the doors are open
If you only dare to hope
And you will find a way to fight
The fears that kept you down
Cuz if you turn another page
You will see that’s not the way
The story has to end

And if you need to find a way back
Feel you’re on the wrong track
Give it time, you’ll learn to fly
Tomorrow is a new day
And you will find your own way
You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry
Then you’ll learn to fly

Looking at your situation
There’s so much that you can do
Now’s the time to make your stand
This is just an observation
In the end it’s up to you
The future’s in your hands

And if you need to find a way back
Feel you’re on the wrong track
Give it time, you’ll learn to fly
Tomorrow is a new day
And you will find your own way
You’ll be stronger with each day that you cry
Then you’ll learn to fly

Give it time
Then you’ll learn to fly

God, I'll depend on You, on Your wings to bring me higher, each time You break me down. & I know Father, Your strength is endless. & that's where I'll draw my strength from, from You & no one else.

2009-11-01T23:45:00.000+08:00

I'm finally free to blog. HAHAHA. Past few days have been a craze again! But I thank God for sustaining me, His grace is more than sufficient. &&&. Jasmine says I should upload pictures! I'll try okay! (: Used to upload, but I got kinda lazy. Heehee.

Tuesday was fun. Until about 6. Haha lunch was awesome, all the LAC people were just chope-ing seats in makan place! & Fangxiu was the best. Seriously auntie! Haha but cute lah (: &&& Sardine after class! It was fun playing at Blk 52, I really hope this Sardine meeting can go on and on every Tuesday. It really bonds the LAC people together. At 6, I was seriously thinking whether I should go for training a not. It has been a question that I've been asking myself & the people around me, over & over again. Skipped it that night & emo-ed a lot D: Fencing's really affecting me a lot. But I suppose, I'm gonna give it another try, the fact that I'm thinking so much is prolly 'cause I still want to fence. Still want to master fencing. Still have that bit of passion in me for fencing. Sabre <3

Wednesday was awesome! Watched My Sister's Keeper in the early afternoon with Latifah, Yvonne, Daphne & Tammie. The movie was seriously <3. It was a heart wrenching movie, yet there were quite a number of parts where I could only smile and cry at the family love, the sister's love of all. I shouldn't spoil the movie for those who haven't watched it yet, but seriously, go catch it. & remember to bring a box of tissues along! (: IT'LL HELP I PROMISE. An almost 2hours show, I think I cried for an hour plus? But it was worth it, every tear. The emotions evoked in me were so strong, partially I suppose 'cause it brings me to wonder about the love between my own sisters & I. But other than that, the theme of love could be felt, I love the twist at the back. Watching the movie has made me more determined to go for Hair For Hope, next year if possible. I suppose watching how Kate, the girl with cancer, struggled so much with her outer appearances has impacted me even more on how there are so many youths, kids & even adults who are bothered about the loss of hair. How they probably struggle with accepting themselves & ignoring society's looks... All the more I want to tell them, please, embrace your identity not as a cancer person, but simply as a person with cancer, & you, like all others, have so much more within you than just looks. Being bald is nothing, it's just a different hairstyle. Hang in there, all the people with cancer, you're very very very brave people! <3

After my sister's keeper, I went to donate blood in school! :D I was supposed to go with Sheryl, Kay Yong, Ronny & Juo Wi! But Juo Wi pang sei 'cause we accidentally left him behind & the queue was super duper ultra long! & Ronny couldn't get past the temperature check, 37.6! Oh mann. Haha FINALLY! Sheryl & I got past all the check ups! :D KY also! But his friend didn't. Haha so the 3 of us queued for super long before it was our turn. KY was super comical lah, 'cause he was so scared! Haha. He was super talkative & nervous. Sheryl & I wanted to die listening to him talk & talk & talk! He tried to scare us into being scared for the blood donation. But I was super excited! :D :D :D The nurses were pretty nice & all, & I was sooo happy I could finally donate blood! We then had some biscuits (my favourite blueberry ones!) and a drink. KY took super long 'cause he was too nervous, his blood went haywire & he felt giddy! They had to lift his legs! Haha. OHOHOH. I got a yellow bandage! :D With bumblebee prints! :DDD Super cool!

Yeah KY & me. HAHAHA. 'Cause of the stupid scandal! WHY. Why did I play with him! D:

&&& they give you a cert for donating blood too! COOL OR COOL! :D I picked the "No chicken Award" 'cause it was so cute! But the one Sheryl picked was cooler. Haha. But I like the chicken one! :D

Had HMSS meeting at night & that's why I found out that my eyes were red. Felt that they were itching & a little painful. Found out my eyes were swollen too! D: I suspected that I had an eye infection D:

Thursday

I skipped the morning class to go see a doctor. D: Eye infection, I had to go see an eye specialist on Saturday. Anyway, rushed to school for PEC discussion. It was kinda weird, partially 'cause the table was so wide, I felt so far away from my group mates :/ <3 PEC tutorials, we had a debate! My side: For full inclusion... & WE WON! By 2 points. :D It was mainly Priscilla & I who were talking. :/ Oh wells. I love debates anyway :D Skipped training 'cause of my eyes. They were hurting like mad D: Met Lucy Quek, course manager, for a talk about my FP 2.1 grades. Nothing can be done anyway. I'm kinda, resigned. Not exactly happy with my grades, but God's teaching me that He knows what's best for me. Went home & chionged the LINK. D: Slept for a couple of hours only. D:

Friday

POS! Pledge of Silence. I die die also wanted to go to school. HAHAHA. Must take part & try out! Was forced to talk & answer the lecturers in class D: They refused to allow me to write my answers out. Oh wells. So other than lesson times, I didn't speak. Decided to try out for the 24hours on my own! :D Didn't talk till the next day, 9am! :D Even when I woke up I didn't speak too! Haha. But had to speak to the doctor the next day lah. But I went into a silent arguement with my sister 'cause she thought I was being retarded. ): I was quite upset. ):

Saturday

Went to the eye specialist in the morning D: Had 3 spots of eye infection in my left eye. Have to go back on Monday for a review D: Rushed to Vivo & met up with some people there before we shopped around & hung out for awhile! & I have decided! I wanna get a bikini! HAHAHA. Reasons later. Anyway, LAC outing to Sentosa was pretty fun :D I wanted to go into the sea! But couldn't! D: Oh wells. Had a couple of HTHT sessions :D Awesome mann! &&& so many people are joining Hi club! Can practise my signing skills already :D ohoh! Hahaha I want to buy a bikini to go shower! Then can shower in the girls' open shower, wayyy more convenient than queuing for the cubicles D: It took eons before it was mine turn! The guys were chasing us like mad D: Haha. Had dinner at Vivo, we all da bao food from all over Vivo & sat at the stage area to eat like a big family! <3 & we even had random campfire songs singing session & then! We did a flashmob at Vivo! HAHAHA. Just queued up in 2 lines & stand still. I didn't hear any of the comments but apparently they were super funny! :D <3 LAC people!

Sunday

Rest & relax day. Came home straight after church to just rest, take a breather, try to organize my stuff for the upcoming weeks of school... I need Jelly to send me the assignment deadline time line soon! Need to stop playing & start working already. But I really thank God for the rest time I had today, no need to use brain so much! :D

P.S. Ever since Xuan started bringing her camera to school everyday, I've been camwhoring! Here are a couple of my recent SUPER COOLIOS PICTURES :D

Jing & I wore couple shorts without asking each other to! <3 :DDD No wonder we got married right from 1st semester! <3

MR PRINGLES! <3 HAHAHA I bought that moustache for Pris! :D

Thank You God, for blessing me with this lovely sister, who's always so caring & loving :D <3 you Xuan! & don't let people bully you okay! I will stand up for you! :D <3 you!

My brightest photo yet! HAHAHA. Hair super messy lah please! :D

&... My best photo yet, as yesterday was Halloween... Let me scare you all a little! HAHAHA! :D

HAHAHA SUPER SCARY RIGHT! This was during a 2 day 1 night camp you know! Oh wells. HAHAHA. Nights people, have a good week ahead! :D

2009-10-27T22:59:00.000+08:00

YOU MAY SAY... BUT, GOD SAYS

You may say: It’s impossible
but, God says: All things are possible. (Luke 18:27)

You may say: I’m too tired,
but, God says: I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-30)

You may say: Nobody really loves me,
but, God says: I love you. (John 3:16 & John 3:34)

You may say: I can’t go on,
but, God says: My grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9 & Psalms 91:15)

You may say: I can’t figure things out,
but, God says: I will direct your steps. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You may say: I can’t do it,
but, God says: You can do all things. (Philippians 4:13)

You may say: I’m not able,
but, God says: I am able. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

You may say: It’s not worth it,
but, God says: It will be worth it. (Romans 8:28)

You may say: I can’t forgive myself,
but, God says: I forgive you. (I John 1:9)

You may say: I can’t manage,
but, God says: I will supply all your need. (Philippians 4:19)

You may say: I’m afraid,
but, God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear. (2 Timothy 1:7)

You may say: I’m always worried and frustrated,
but, God says: Cast all your cares on ME. (I Peter 5:7)

You may say: I’m not smart enough,
but, God says: I will give you wisdom. (I Corinthians 1:30)

You may say: I feel all alone,
but, God says: I will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

Because He cares…

<3, thank you Teresa Quek!

2009-10-27T01:26:00.000+08:00

Thank You God, for always sending friends to keep me company, whenever You know that I feel so alone. Although I was the one who called Shurong out, but at such a last minute timing, I really thank God she was available.

Been staying out late so often, it feels weird to have to return home before the sky is dark :/

Haha. Went to thread eyebrows after school with Shurong! Wonder if it's really noticeable! Haha. Tried to catch 500 days of summer but we missed it D: So we watched Imagine That instead! It was not bad, really funny, and I just love the family-oriented theme! Haha. I realised I've been crying quite easily whenever I see sweet family themes... <3 I suppose. It reflects on how much I've missed out. How much I yearn that such scenes were really reality.

Had Udders ice cream today too! Absolute <3 Although it was super ex, but, every lick was worth the cent! :D HAHAHA. Had Rum Rum Rasin (My absolute favourite & must!) & a new flavour, Whiskey Java Choc! <3 the new flavour! HAHAHA. It was pretty strong though, but <333! HAHAHA. I think Udders has officially won the 1st ice cream place in my heart already :D

Love's been such a huge topic in my life lately. God has certainly taught me to love, in His most unique way. Of all people I had to work with, He placed me with the one I disliked the most. Yet out of that, a friendship has blossomed & is still growing. Dear God, I ask that You allow me to see people the way You see them, with love, compassion & care, especially for their souls. It's only when Your love fully flows in me, then can it overflow out of me, into others' lives, that they may come to know the unconditional & perfect love that I know. I've always thought that I understood love, but now I know that I don't. Love is so profound, so deep, so rich. I don't know if I can ever fully comprehend the meaning of love, to be love or to love, but I know, I have an everlasting fountain of Love within me. The Love of God. & I delight in that, for no other love can satisfy me the way Yours does. Yours has stood strong, unfailing, time after time, even when others' love has passed away, I know Yours will never leave me. Thank You, that out of millions & millions, You chose to give me this chance to come & experience Your love. Thank You for choosing me.

Sleepy now! :D

2009-10-26T01:48:00.001+08:00

It's been about a week since I last posted something. I'll try to update more often :/// HAHAHA. SUPER LAZY LAH ME.

Anyway! First week of school! Pretty eventful :D

Monday
Had ice cream for breakfast with Fifi! Hahaha. She was supposed to eat too, but she pangsei me in the end! D: So I ended up eating it on my own. It was supposed to bring HER fever down! Haha. PEC lecture was quite interesting! PEC's currently my favourite module :D The other modules are pretty okay for now.

Tuesday
Tuesday was just an awesome, awesome, AWESOME day! :D Oh my goodness. When I went to look for Fifi, Ronny, Juo Wi & Joshua gave me the shock of my life!!! They literally cornered me & interrogated me on why I cut my hair! HAHAHA. I just wanted a new look, I was super bored with my previous hairstyle already. There have been mixed reactions towards my new hairstyle :S I'm honestly still not very sure of people's comments towards it & whether it really looks nice or not... :/ Oh wells. Anyway. Had lunch with the CHS people & some of the GLs (Ronny was super sick about my favourite banana juice! D:), &&&! We then proceeded to play Sardine after school! HAHAHA. <3! It was super exciting! We're so gonna meet every Tuesday, I hope! Met Fifi & WT after fencing. They said my face before & after training was totally different D: I really really really hope I can hang on to fencing... It's been so tough lately, what with all the girls dropping out, the pressure of being the only girl left, the pressure of being the only one lagging super behind, be it during PT sessions or even drills sessions. D: I really don't know how long more I can hang on, or what I should do about it. I'm really lost & confused. D: I broke my pretty butterfly slippers too D:

Wednesday
No school day! Okay lah, attachment hasn't started. Skipped HI club booth thingy. Tired. Met Pris for shopping for Jelly's birthday present at town area. HTHT session <3! Caught Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs with her! I LOVE THE MOVIE <3! Can you believe I teared during a cartoon! Hahaha. But it was seriously good, very cute, funny, silly, & full of love :D Met some of my secondary family members! Puii, Qiao, Ana, Germ. <3 Even though I didn't really share much about my life that night, but I had an awesome time just hanging out with you 4. It's awesome how we're so different yet... So together. I really don't know how to share about my life, so much has been happening, so much feels so private, I'm just not ready to share a lot yet. I know you 4 will understand (: Sharing less doesn't equate to me loving you 4 less. :D

Thursday
I seriously wasn't myself. Walked 2 bus stops, climbed 5 flights of stairs up to class?! Hahaha. But it was good. I somehow really became PEC's module rep! Haha, I don't need anymore CCA points lah! But oh wells. PEC tutorial was like, camwhoring time! <3 HAHAHA. Love Xuan for bringing her camera everyday to take candid & camwhore pictures! :D Mr Timothy's a pretty interesting guy I suppose, his daughter is SUPER CUTE! :D & we used this super cool, brand new, glass whiteboard classroom! :D Wanted to go for training after school. But some stuff happened. D: I suppose it's only a matter of time, just how much is left for him. But he really breaks my heart, everytime I see him, it's as though I see him waiting to die. My dear Grandpa, I hope that you will pull yourself strong together, that although so much is happening now, always know that I love you. I really really really do. I'll never forget our airport times, our indian food times, or our news talk times. <3

Friday
Was super tempted not to go to class, but ah wells. I was super sleepy with the lack of sleep the previous night. It was an okay day, all the GLs got married. HAHAHA. Had dinner with WT, Fifi & Kenn. & KY lah. He was there half the time. It was super funny as we tried to pluck Kenn's mini stubbles at his chin! :D Well, I went for ICE after dinner. It was pretty okay, but finally. I shared stuff with church people. With Jessie after ICE.

Saturday
Shopped with Alee, Fifi, Jasmine, WT, KY & Fangxiu (: Found out that I lost my ATM card D: Haiz. But at least, I bought a new pair of black jeans & a vest! & Alee gave me her free belt cause I wanted to get one! (: Thank you Alee! It was a good trip, Ah Beh joined us in the later part of the evening (: FB like mad that night! HAHAHA. Exco all became 'Engaged' on our relationship status. & somehow, I got engaged to KY. Played along with him on FB. But seriously, he's super mushy. Too mushy for me to take it! I wanted to die everytime I see his reply please!!! But I was just too unwilling to lose! HAHAHA. But it was super funny lah!

Sunday
HAHAHA. I seriously typed out the entire week's entries! :D Today was pretty interesting. Missed the first service & I just headed for children's. Went for beach baptism & then to town with Amelia & Janice! Bought my slippers from fourskin upon recommendation from Amelia! HAHAHA. My new PURPLE slippers! <3 They're pretty comfy too! :D After Janice left from Starbucks, Amelia & I had such a blessed time together. Somehow, we just had a HTHT session without even planning for it! & I'm so amazed, because I never knew that our family backgrounds were so similar. The troubles, the hurts, the feelings & emotions. It's like, someone finally goes through practically the same issues as me! (: & we feel pretty much the same way towards so many things, with the same ideals, same desires. I really really really thank God for the HTHT session I had with her! <3 Because of this encouraging talk, I changed my mind about church. (: Thank You God! :D

It's been an amazing 1 week. <3

2009-10-19T01:13:00.002+08:00

Smile by Uncle Kracker
You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side
Of my pillow, that's right

Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where
You send me, lets me know that it's okay
Yeah, it's okay
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone,
Somehow you come along just like
A flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain, and just like that

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
'Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile

Love this song <3

2009-10-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

If I (or you) ever feel emo, just watch this.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=596440697&v=feed&story_fbid=157998280697#/video/video.php?v=156688933458&ref=nf

HAHAHA. Inside joke. So only those who went for HMS LAC '09 will know! VIDEO/DANCE OF THE CENTURY. It never fails to put many many many laughs in me! <3 the GLs!

This is so going to be on replay mode tonight. :D

2009-10-16T13:41:00.000+08:00

HMS LAC '09 <3

Much as the camp was tiring, draining, physically, mentally, & at times, even spiritually, I still love the camp. All the planning, the recees, the precamp, the last minute preparations, logistics, the changes here and there, the facils, the campers, all of these added together, can really be exhausting.

But still I love it.

Because these are all mere trials that we, the Exco, have gone through together. I see the angers, the fustrations, the uncertainties, the fears, the stress, the disappointments, but I also see the effort put in, the fun we had together, the joy & laughters, the inside jokes, the bonds we've formed, how we've drawn closer one to another, the support we give each other, the encouragement, the understanding, the care and concern for each other, and above all, I can feel the love we have. <3

Thank you Facils, for making this camp so fun (: Through this camp, I've grown to know more people around HMS, hahaha especially the BZSE & PCS people. Janell, Julinda, Joshua, Marcus, Amanda, Ronnie, Juo Wi, Kenn, Caryn, Cindy, Jiawen, Timonthy, etc etc. HAHA. Precamp was so much fun with all of you (:

Watched the slideshow on the last day of camp. Precamp photos were the best! HAHAHA. The photo album is like, EXCO photo album please. We camwhore like mad! HAHAHA. But I love it! Matty han, please send me the video, I'l bring my hard disk soon! When it came to the actual camp one, Jasmine & I watched until sian diao. Cause, we were barely in there. Haha. But still! Memories of watching the activities and the camp were awesome. <3

& thank you to the campers who came, I wish I've managed to get to know you all better, but it's okay! (: You guys made the camp possible too, by having fun & playing with all your might & heart (:

Thank You God, for sustaining me through the camp, for giving me the strength, for empowering me with the ability to love even when all I felt were tireness, disappointment and a loss of hope. But You never left me alone, You constantly opened my eyes & heart, & You reignite the fire in me time & again. Thank You for still loving me. (:

2009-10-11T01:01:00.001+08:00

No boundaries - Adam Lambert

Oh, seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait?
Every moment last forever
When you feel you’ve lost your way

And what if my chances were already gone
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you gave me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
So here I am still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane to get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up all your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries, there are no boundaries

I fought to the limit to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets
Don’t know where the future’s headed
But nothing's gonna bring me down

Jumped every bridge, I’ve run every line
I risk being safe, I always knew why
I always knew why
So here I am still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane to get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up all your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher, you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule
'Cause there’s nothing between you and your dreams

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane to get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up everything
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

There are no boundaries, there are no boundaries
Oh, there are no boundaries, there are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

Alee sent this to me. To cheer me up. & I really wonder, can I make it through? Are there really no boundaries?

It doesn't feel like it.

2009-10-09T01:58:00.000+08:00

Going out with the Exco can kill. I promise. I always get bullied! HAHAHA. But never mind. (:

First of all was recee day! I totally embarrassed myself. Oh wells. I wasn't expecting everyone to laugh at me! I was talking to everyone, but since no one replied me, it sounded as if I was talking to myself. I was simply commenting on the environment around us. I had no idea it was so funny to people. HAHAHA. But ah wells. I had fun laughing with them (:

OHOH. & there was night cycling too! HAHAHA. I think Pretty & Chuan died cycling with me please. (:

& then there was pre-camp! Oh my. My face just turned redder & redder & my eyes filled up with tears from laughter & embarrassment as I watched the Exco, namely Weiting, recall ALL of my embarrassing moments! Haha. That was during lunch time on Monday. HAHAHA. & in the morning, I learnt of our Exco pets! (: A lizard & a silverfish! Haha & after we caught this centipede during one of the day games try out, I decided to give the new pets names! So the lizard was Billy, the silverfish was Bob & the centipede was Tiffany. & thus began my naming days. I have no idea why, but we started trying to acquire a lot of new friends, & I started naming them one by one! There's George the grasshopper & Tommy the toad! & the ants colony! Got a lot of names! HAHAHA. Like Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston! HAHAHA. But we didn't catch all of them lah. Oh but on the first evening, we found Billy dead! ): & I accidentally cut Bob into half as I tried to get him to return to the glass cup. & Tiffany died the next day ): I think got not enough water & no food. Haha.

And I have no idea how come I named Wayne as Jonathan! Forgot what he asked me already, but the name has stuck. Hahaha. & somehow I'm now Jacintha! HAHAHA. KY'S ONE WORST. He's laosai!!! Because. During pre-camp, he asked, how to spell the English of laosai. So I said, K A Y Y O N G. HAHAHA. Almost died laughing please. & there's Bernard & Antonio & Jack & Rose the bowling pins! HAHAHA. Okay, that one's next part... SPORTS DAY! HAHAHA!

SPORTS DAY! It was yesterday, after pre-camp. Initially, a lot of people were going! But a lot backed out at the last minute ): Oh wells. We had fun still! Me, Alee, Laosai, Fifi, Jasmine & Jonathan! Haha, we ate non stop in the afternoon please. After a normal lunch, we went to basement 1 & bought Taiwan chicken (Super funny!), Mars bars with ice cream & Cheezy Curry Chicken! HAHAHA. Pigs lah, to think that it's sports day! Anyway, we went bowling after that! At Cdans (: It was pretty fun, we named the bowling pins, ooh & the bowling balls too! Got Jennifer my bowling ball! (: & Laosai is a star bowler mannzxzx! HAHAHA. He runs to bowl! & I think Jonathan was the one with the highest score. I had super low scores lah! Haha.

Then we went swimming at the Jurong East Swimming Complex! Jonathan & Alee didn't swim though. & when we got there, then we saw the no t-shirt sign! But Jasmine & I didn't have other clothes... ): So in the end we just gave it a try! Lifeguard 1 caught us twice! & as we sat by the side discussing what we should do then, Lifeguard 2 appeared with his shining reflective sunglasses & coolios red cap! HAHAHA. & he told us that he'll allow us to go play just this once, then next time must wear proper clothes! AWESOME LIEGUARD UNCLE! (: <3 him & his super cool sunglasses & cap!

Anyway, we continued playing in the lazy river, then headed over to the wave pool, where the waves kept towering over me ): & I couldn't speak clearly! ): The waters all gushed into my mouth, & Jasmine, Fifi & Laosai kept laughing at me. &&&! The three of them always gang up together and splash water at me from 3 different directions! My back was facing the wall mah. ): So I went all out to play with them, started doing 'qing gong' stuff like pushing water etc at them, & the 'xiang long shi ba zhang'! :D COOLIOS OKAY! HAHAHA. & I tried to measure my height in the water. Dumbest thing ever. & Fifi, Jasmine & Laosai tried to teach me how to swim :X Haha, it was quite a weird & awkward eperience I suppose. HAHAHA.

We had dinner at Jurong Point! Everything there was so expensive ): In the end, we just had Din Tai Fung. YUM YUM. :D Hahaha xiao long bao rocks lah! :D Sunday night at Beauty World Centre! :D Haha Tecky joined us for dinner & Jasmine went home from the Swimming Complex for dinner. Now I'm super broke ): HAHAHA.

But all in all. I had a wonderful holiday spent with the Exco (: <3 you all!

2009-10-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I've last posted anything. Being busy has certainly kept me off blogging. Haha.

It's pretty rare for me to have a whole day to myself, to just rest, relax, finish up whatever I have on my hands & just stop my mind from thinking. The past 3 weeks have certainly proved to be a challenge for me, with all the camps, and things to prepare (: But I really thank God for pulling me through, giving me pockets of rest here & there, teaching me what it really means to be still. I don't think I've fully understand what it means to just be still, to stop, to meditate upon Him, but I'm learning. I'm learning to trust in Him to give me strength, to control my emotions, to be less hasty to speak. Although I still slip up every now & then, but I know, I can be secured in His love. There are of course, still moments when I let sin get the better of me, when I allow the flesh to take over, for that moment, to be angry, dejected, disappointed, to wallow in self pity and be depressed. But You still remind me, that You love me without fail. That there is no end to Your love, that unworthy as I am, I do not have to face the darkness anymore. Because You are there, with me. You held my hand, You searched for me, You called out my name. You turned my heart towards You. You did that yesterday, today & You will continue to do that tomorrow & for all the days that follow.

Heb 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.

I just love Hebrews. A number of my favourite verses are from that book. & I'm just so comforted in God's love for me, how He sees me as a precious child of His. How I can still have this privilege of knowing that there is Someone out there who cares for & loves me. Even when my world seems to spin without light, I was just blinded. He is still holding on to me, even when I've given up, when I've let go. How deep is His love for me indeed.

How deep the Father's love for us

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will nost boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

2009-09-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

Saw this on Pasir Ris Crest Secondary School's fencing club website.

The spirit of fencing can best be embodied by Paul Gallico, a well-known author and columnist who began fencing at age thirty-seven, who spoke from experience about the attractions of fencing:

"It is the release trigger for the outpouring of personality, temperament and self. It is an axiom of fencing that five minutes on a strip behind a weapon, and a fencer has revealed himself, his nature, his character, his honesty, his mental capacities - his very essence. As you are, so you will fence. You can conceal nothing, nor can your opponent. Your inner selves will clash upon the strip as sharply as your steel - there is no royal road, no easy shortcut to the joys of combat fencing. The price is ... hard work and discipline, of sometimes tedious practice drills. But the rewards therefore are great and satisfying. Once the drudgery has been put behind, the fun comes fast and furious and never ending."

& I agree so much with it. Please let me just get past the drudgery, before I give up. & I refuse to give up, 'cause I know I'll regret it, & I don't want to regret.

2009-09-17T11:59:00.000+08:00

Results are gonna be out tomorrow. The same, old feeling. Excited, nerrvous, constantly reminding myself to trust God with the results. Partially trying to prepare myself for the worst. Brings back memories of the last time I received my results (plus I just viewed the Vietnam YEP trip's photos) - in Vietnam.

It was probably 6 plus in the morning in the clinic where we were all sleeping. As usual, I was the only one still rolling about in my sleeping bag, refusing to get up 'cause I still wanted to sleep more. Heh :D Suddenly, something near my head started vibrating. It vibrated for a while, then stopped. I grabbed my phone, took a glace at the screen to see who the message was from with bleary eyes. 7466 or something like that. What a weird number. I thought it was a junk message & thus, happily went back to sleep, protesting to the calls of the other girls. Most of them were up & about already, chattering away. I then heard Minquan's voice, "... GPA..."

Suddenly my whole body jolted awake. My eyes shot open as realisation hit me. RESULTS!!! I scrambled hurriedly to my phone and opened up the message & saw my grades. Haha. What an exciting morning. Got JJ to help me ask his friend check for my GPA. 3.5 plus. Not bad (: There was an improvement. Thank God so much! :D

This sudden post on Vietnam makes me miss the YEP trip. I miss Vietnam ): Kinda wish I had signed up this trip. Nonetheless, I wanna go for another YEP trip, next year! :D Be it Vietnam or some other country. &&&! I can't wait for the end of year Cambodia trip! I just pray that my friends would understand why I want to go on that trip, & I pray that the projects will be okay. I'll really need to depend on God's strength, wisdom & grace.

In any case, I can't wait for tomorrow! :D

2009-09-12T02:39:00.001+08:00

Typed this into my iTouch

Skating Lessons - 030909
I had my first skating lessons yesterday, 2 sessions at a go. It was quite fun, though I crashed a couple of times & it was pretty embarrassing :/ Haha. It was Jingle & Jinghui who taught me yesterday. This morning, I was attached to Yeohan & Danny. I followed Yeohan’s class though. I was pretty afraid to move around though :/ The kids seem pretty pro already while I was still so unstable.

It was real embarrassing ‘cause halfway through the lesson, this super pro kid skated over to me & asked if his helmet was worn correctly. So I looked at all the other helmets & he seemed to have worn it correctly. So I said yes. & then he said, “Then, instructor, your helmet is worn on the wrong side.” & he skated away just like that. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED PLEASE. Like, oh no. I think my whole face went red & I just quietly switched the helmet over at one corner :/// & halfway through the lesson, Yeohan told me my wrist guards were worn wrongly too :/// Oh wells.

It’s really important to have good classroom management skills, I’m so glad I’ve got background knowledge in this. Now all that’s left is to work on my skating skills. I’ve got to attend more weekend classes to pick up skating. The pay may not be very good, but I think the joys of it may just far outweigh the pay conditions.

Lord, I still don’t know if I should cancel my job application for the data entry post. After all, I really don’t want to tire myself out either. & with all the upcoming camps & events to be planned for, I’m starting to question my ability to handle it all. Besides, I still wanna go for some parts of polyserve. For a couple of sessions at least I suppose.

The book, Lies Young Women Believe, is really encouraging, challenging & edifying my thoughts. Thank You for speaking the way I love, words. Be it comfort, joy, peace or even assurance, I’m so much more secured in Your love.

I love You, God. Because You first loved me. & now I pray that the unconditional love You gave me will be given to others through me as well. Especially to my family & friends.

2009-09-08T01:00:00.003+08:00

Following post dedicated to the LINK Team! <3

Hello all! How time flies. Okay, this is gonna be a pretty long post, so make yourself comfy ;D

First off, on to the non-urgent but lovely matters. I was just reading & looking through all the past Links & I just realised how far God has taken not just the Link, but even me through. It's been a whooping 20, YES MY FRIENDS, TWENTY ISSUES, since I've become the editor! Can you believe it? I can't. Like, woahhh. Haha & I really really thank God for how He has led me to this ministry, led me through & is still continuing to lead me. He is definitely the same yesterday, today & tomorrow!

*Anyway, TWENTY'S a great number of issues to go through! So paiseh, but I really really really feel like thanking God! I hope this will encourage all of you too! So please read on :D

Through serving in the Link team, I've grown to love Him, have my faith rooted even deeper & stronger, watched knowing that He does miraculous things and of course, I've also grown to expect not to sleep on the last fridays of the months. HAHAHA. JK.

Of course, serving has never been easy, it has been tiring, challenging, yet satisfying. At the end of the day, when I know that my efforts are not in vain, that they will please the Lord, my heart is secured and settled in peace & love as well. I thank God for each & everyone of you who have come on board this wonderful, exciting journey with me & God (:

Thank you Ian, for constantly being our advisior, our guidance & the constant feedback for the LINK team!

Thank you Chiawen, for being there with me right from the beginning since I've started serving! Though many times I feel like I'm gonna drown or something, I know I can always count on you for support & guidance too!

Thank you Jeanieee, for serving with me since I've joined this lovely team. You're always brimming with ideas, with all your creative juices constantly flowing out! You have no idea how much I love & appreciate the ideas from you!

Thank you Rogan, for all the wonderful artistic layouts you've always produced since I started serving in the LINK team! Though it was sad that you had to leave ))): But I'm glad to have been able to have served with you! It was awesome, getting so much professional & cool guidance from you, especially in terms of using technical softwares like Photoshop, which I had no absolute clue how to initially!

Thank you Bong, for joining this team, & constantly wow-ing me with the fabulous layouts you always produce, no matter how late or how short the timings you had! It's definitely a gift God has blessed you with, so keep using it for His glory yeah!

Thank you Sicheng, for the wonderful, inspiring articles you've written from time to time, and the lovely layouts you've produced! God's bestowed you with the gift of writing, so keep writing every now & then to touch others with words from God! It's amazing how words can, or articles, can bring one closer to God!

Thank you Shine, for your willingness to serve! Your bubbly laughter & joy has always overflowed to keep all of us in a super light mood! It's been a while since we've had meetings with you, & I really really really pray & hope that you can come back & join us soon! Thank you for always willing to stay up late just to compile the articles together in time, even though you always have work the following day. For that, I sincerely apologise, & I hope to be able to come up with some sort of system to help improve the flow of things. Thank you!

Thank you Catherine, for always helping to do articles & sending them in even before the deadline! It is so encouraging & awesome to know that something's completed already & there's one less person to chase for, for articles! As attachment starts for you & you can't continue serving for now, I really hope that you'll come back soon! Your layouts have improved a lot!

Thank you Amelia, for always being so encouraging & willing to learn. Despite not knowing about Photoshop at all initially, your willingness to learn & ask, humbly constantly, has been such a blessing to me. I've learnt so much from you.

Thank you Mark Chia, for even having the heart to want to write & serve in the LINK team. Indeed, let no man despise thy youth. Therefore, I pray sincerely that God will use you to write articles of wisdom & truth, that they may bless the readers.

Hahaha, sorry folks, was feeling a little sentimental today :D

Off to Malaysia for a day trip with my mum & sisters! <3 :D Oh & I wasted money buying some pretty looking pens which turned out to be a little crappy 'cause they couldn't really work. But they were really pretty! & I promise to never ever, paste 4 pieces of salon pas on my back & shoulders ever again. The heat that's emitting right can probably kill me soon.

HAHAHA. BUT OH. HOW I LOVE SALON PAS. My back & shoulders would probably die without it! <3

OOH AND SKATING ON THURSDAY WITH JING!!! I CAN'T WAIT, HAVEN'T SEEN THAT LOVE OF MINE FOR ABOUT A GAZILLION MILLION YEARS! <3 GONNA BE A SKATING INSTRUCTOR, Jiang Ling you watch! HAHAHA. I will become one!

Caught up SOSOSO much with Jiang Ling & Lyana this holiday. ECP cycling, concert, sleepovers... The list is endless. I really thank God for the both of them. Now, I just can't wait for the sleepover with Puii too! I hope 'A's don't kill her, but she's stronger than that eh? I know (: Though I expect her to sleep through half her papers... I'll try to have more faith in her (:

Love does wonderful things <3

2009-09-04T16:40:00.002+08:00

Recently, I've been reading a book, Lies Young Women Believe. It was a birthday present from Dawn & Ray last year. I don't know what kept me so long to get started reading it!

Anyway, back to the book. It's pretty awesome, I've learnt so many biblical truths, about God, myself, Satan, guys, relationships, faith, sin, media and even about the future. It's been such a fruitful & rewarding time reading it. Although it isn't God's Word directly (the Bible), but I feel like I've definitely drawn closer to God through all the lies and Truths being exposed.

I'm so going to read the lies once more, going through them one by one, ensuring that I remain vigilant & not fall for them again.

For the past couple of days, I've visited Ian's blog as well! Haha, his new blog that is. 2 posts that attracted me a lot were the ones on sleeping. For the past semester, I felt like I haven't slept for half of it. Being too caught up in things, constantly worrying, feeling like I'm on tenterhooks all the time has taken the pleasure of sleeping away from me. Every single week, there will be at least one or two days in which I find myself having to work either very late into the night, like say 2 to 3am, or not sleeping through the night at all. Such unhealthy lifestyle and sleeping habbits took its toil on me.

I Cor 6:

19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Upon reflection, these two verses have indeed spoken a lot to me. By refusing to sleep properly, it has led to me being constantly tired, burdened & even irritable. If I can't even take care of my physical body, how can I glorify God in my spirit?

Physical tireness has led me to be emotionally drained, mentally tired out as well. With such burdens, it is hard for me not to fall into temptations & sins. There is no longer the energy or desire to want to fight the good fight of faith [1 Tim 6:12]. Instead of turning to Him, I've kept my eyes on myself, my unstable emotions, my situations, my sins, my guilts.

Thank You Lord, for preserving me through still despite my stubbornness.

2009-08-28T02:28:00.002+08:00

James 1
19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Such simple commands. So easy to understand, yet so hard to apply. So often, on the exterior, we appear okay. We seem to be listening, we seem to be very patient, never losing our temper.

But what about on the inside? Is the heart still at peace?

I used to think that it'll be okay just as long as I'll be patient and wait till the other person has finished speaking before I take my turn. & I thought that it'll be okay just as long as I control my temper & not let it out.

But this doesn't seem to be the case. While I was patiently waiting for the other party to finish speaking, I was, at least, hearing. But listening? I'm not so sure. The words do enter through my ears, but they probably exit just as quick. I was merely waiting for my turn to speak. Slow to speak...? Often, I realised that I really want to just get my point across, without any considerations for the other party.

As I listen, or hear, what the other party says, feelings of injustice surface and tempers start to flare. Yes, I do try to keep it in. But what happens if I can no longer restrain it? Do I then allow it to be let out? Can I keep it in? I don't think being slow to anger would mean just being gentle-tempered on the outside. Appearances are no more than deceiving acts. Besides, how long can one try to keep it in and continously try to be gentle-tempered?

If the heart is at peace, wouldn't one not have to try to gentle-tempered? Not getting angry too quickly would then just come from the heart.

O God, I do so want the righteous life that You desire for me. Yet, it seems like an unattainable goal. You said, with You, all things are possible. You said, You will never leave nor forsake me. & now I claim Your promises. Sometimes, I feel like a wreck, a mess. I need You to hold my hand & walk with me. Maybe it's really my fault. Maybe I was really too stubborn. This heart can be so deceitful, so prideful. Take it Lord, & create a new heart in me. I need a new lease of life, in You.

2009-08-21T00:41:00.003+08:00

I never knew I could miss someone so much.

Today's Joyce Ho's birthday, finally got her number from Jiatru so I gave her a call.

A few minutes into catching up with her, I cried. I've always thought that if I were to run into her, I'll be super excited but and I may be emotional. But I never thought talking to her on the phone can make me miss her that much too. So much that I cried! Well, I'm so glad I gave her a call, so glad we chatted, even if it was only for 25 minutes. So much's happened in her life, & mine as well. I could sense that we've both grown in our own ways, yet I'm glad I could still talk to her like an old friend! :D

Happy 18th Birthday Joyce!

Even though the days we spent together, like really together, was short, only 2 years, I treasured them a lot. I guess it's because our friendship back then was so pure, so true. Till today I still miss you tremendously & spending time with you. I still keep the disc you gave me when we parted after Sec 2! Well, Joyce, if you ever read this, please do make a date with me! Although we're in different schools, different courses etc etc, but well, I hope we still can go out together more regularly! Love you! (:

ITBD tomorrow! I need wisdom from God! (:

Kaiting & I are giving each other ITBD revision on MSN! Haha, it's been ages since I did such things. I think the last time was 'O' levels period!

Camped at Woodlands library today with Jelly. Seriously, the air conditioning was like, free of charge or something! It was freezing cold! It was a pretty productive time I suppose... Haha, though my hands and fingers are aching from all that note-making!

By the way, coronets make absolutely delectable treats, especially if you've been studying the whole day!
PS. It's from Ichiban Sushi :D

Love the simplicities of life at times <3

2009-08-20T03:34:00.003+08:00

I've always thought that I could cook - until recently that is.

I mean, I know I'm not a fantastic-hotel-chef-kind-of-cook, but I've always thought I could cook Maggie noodles at least. I've been cooking outdoors in Guides! (Oh mann, I really miss outdoor cooking!)

In any case, on Monday, I tried to cook lunch for myself 'cause I was too tired to go out and study. So I started boiling water and cooking Maggie noodles. Instead of boiling hard boiled eggs as usual, I decided to try to scramble it. So I beat the eggs in another bowl and waited for the noodles to cook in the boiling water. After a while (I think I put in too much water 'cause it kept spilling over :/), I reckon the noodles was cooked. It was boiling hot. And smart me tried to drain it 'cause it's supposed to be dry mee. I had no absolute idea how to drain it. I just took the entire pot to the sink and started trying to pour all the water out. Eventually, I somehow managed to pour the noodles onto the sink. All of it -.- Oh wells. So I frantically started scooping the noodles back into my bowl, hoping to salvage my lunch. & for fear of hygiene, I ran it under the tap water. So my noodles turned soggy. ):

That's not all. After which, I decided to save on pots & pans by scrambling my eggs in the pot. So I took the seasoning oil for my Maggie noodles and poured it into the pot and heat is up. After which I poured my eggs in. To my horror, only the bottom cooked! I panicked and started mixing up the eggs so the whole thing would be cooked. It ended up looking like mash eggs :/ & it left the pot with a brown burnt layer :/// My mum, was of course, furious with me :///

Well. I've decided to lay my hands off cooking for now. Until someone's willing to teach me step by step & not let me venture in & turn cooking into a guess-the-steps game. Or, I'll just let/wait for others (like my sister) to cook for me ;D

2009-08-17T01:28:00.002+08:00

In my dad's cab today, I couldn't help but wonder. What if, the 'minor accident' Grandpa had isn't that minor afterall? What would have happened? Would I have lost him? & if I did, what would I feel? Would grief be the first to hit me, or would it be numbness, a state of shock?

& as my parents talked, my sisters talked, I sat by the side of the cab. All silent, blasting the music in my ears. Yet, amazingly, I couldn't take in a single lyric from whatever song was playing on my iTouch. My thoughts were still louder. The questions swirled around, and different situations popped up idly every now and then.

I walked along the farmiliar corridor that led to his door, behind my mum & sisters. I didn't quite reach as fast, so all I saw initially was them whispering outside his gate. A wave of shock, a stare of disbelief when I reached his gate.

He was, honestly, a bag of bones.

I cringed at the sight of him. I barely just met him a couple of months back, and I never noticed, never realized. He was walking, limping rather, around topless as usual in his house. I could see pieces of skin hanging loosely from his torso, his arms and shoulders bony and thin. He looked so brittle, so fragile. & then I saw his legs. They were swollen. We entered his house & made him sit down so we could look at his legs. His right leg was red, bloody, and painful to look at. I didn't know what to say. My eyes glistened for a moment, but I stopped it. I had to look away. My heart ached at the sight of the failing old man before me. In my memories, he used to be so healthy, so strong. I loved him. I did, & I still do. Maybe that's why it hurt even more. Ached more like it.

He was unwilling to go to the doctor's again. I wanted so much to just cry and beg him. To tell him not to be stubborn & to just try to stay alive. But I think it's more than just that. I think he has lost his purpose in life. There's nothing for him to look forward to each day. Insisting on living on his own in his house, none of my uncles or auntie could force him to move out. He wakes up each day, only to sit around the same seats in the house, waiting to pass time, for nightfall to come before he'll go to bed once more. Perhaps that's why he's so stubborn. He'll skip medication, refuse to tell anyone when he's injured, refuse to seek medical help, refuse to allow anyone to hire a private nurse for him.

Everyone's so frustrated with him. I think, they've given up hope on him. I hear the frustration in their voice, the impatience in their tones when they speak to him. There's the unwillingness to take him out, the exasperation at his stubbornness. It's already been quite a while.

But I can't give up hope on him, can I? Though I don't know how to ever help him see the purpose of life, I can only pray that God will change his heart.

Growing old suddenly seems so ugly.

I miss the old younger you.

2009-08-13T00:51:00.003+08:00

It's been quite a while since I've last posted.

It's not that I haven't had time... I've had pockets of time here and there. Especially since all the projects are over and done with. But, suddenly, blogging seems so... Public. I mean, I've always known that it's public since I don't lock my blog. But, maybe, it's just I feel a need to be private.

Private space?

I don't really feel like blogging much anymore.

Let's hope it's not insecurity.

2009-07-19T19:26:00.001+08:00

LOA Day 2.

I'm now officially on LOA, Leave Of Absence.

My sister has officially contracted H1N1.

I'm officially starting to be bored to death.

2009-06-20T12:09:00.004+08:00

The past few weeks, amounting to almost a month since I've last blogged, have been a whirl of events & activities. I've been so lazy to post anything 'cause I know once I sit down to start typing, it'll probably take me a few hours before I'm exhausted of all that I would want to say. That's how wordy I am. :/

Anyway. I'm so proud to say that I've survived through week 7 of school. It was pure craziness, with only 8 hours of sleep from that Monday to Wednesday, 2 whole nights without sleep - Tuesday & Thursday. I conked out on Friday night. I had a million and one things to do during that week! D: How I pulled through I had no absolute idea as well. Okay I have one. I know it was really by His grace! On Thursday night, or should I say, Friday morning? Anyway, in the wee hours of that day, as I was assembling and turning juice cartons into car models, I heard the song, 祷告. Oh how it touched my heart. It just broke me down, spoke right through to my heart. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to 祷告, to just pray. Spend some time with Him, Whom I've been neglecting so often.

祷告因为我渺小
祷告因为我知道我需要
明瞭你心意对我重要

祷告已假装不了
祷告因为你的爱我需要
你关怀我走过的你都明白

有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下
你知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说

主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用

Week 8 was slightly better. But I had 3 essays due. Which almost killed me. But this time round, I think, I've been depending more on God & less on my own strength.

It's such an irony, that it's only when we suffer, when we have to undergo trials, when we are totally worn out & pushed right down to the bottom of our own valley that we turn our eyes upwards to look upon Him. Otherwise, our eyes turn everywhere but upwards. We just see how we just keep going down, how everything keeps pushing us to the rock bottom. Yet, it's only when we've been fully stretched, fully tested, then do we turn back to praise Him. While we keep thinking that we're plunging downwards, we fail to notice the cushion He has already set in place for us.

2009-06-05T05:55:00.004+08:00

祷告
祷告因为我渺小

祷告因为我知道我需要

明瞭你心意对我重要

祷告已假装不了

祷告因为你的爱我需要

你关怀我走过的你都明白

有些事我只想要对你说

因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下

你知道你为我擦

在早晨我也要来对你说

主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我

你恩典够我用

我真的假装不了, 真的真的需要回到你的身边.

I miss QTs. It's been almost, 2 weeks now, since I last did QT.

2009-05-23T21:25:00.002+08:00

I love this quote.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, it doesn't mean that they don't love you with all that they have. (Tan, 2009)

It's true, & it reminds me of the 5 different love languages that we all have. Germ, Cel, Sam & my mum are all quality time people, Hen's a gift girl, while Lyana & I are both words of affirmation lovers :D

Gotta go find out Charm's & Rach's. & the rest of my friends!

"So much held in a heart in a lifetime. So much held in a heart in a day, an hour, a moment. We are utterly open with no one, in the end -- not mother and father, not wife or husband, not lover, not child, not friend. We open windows to each but we live alone in the house of the heart. Perhaps we must. Perhaps we could not bear to be so naked, for fear of a constantly harrowed heart. When young we think there will come one person who will savor and sustain us always; when we are older we know this is the dream of a child, that all hearts finally are bruised and scarred, scored and torn, repaired by time and will, patched by force of character, yet fragile and rickety forevermore, no matter how ferocious the defense and how many bricks you bring to the wall. You can brick up your heart as stout and tight and hard and cold and impregnable as you possibly can and down it comes in an instant, felled by a woman's second glance, a child's apple breath, the shatter of glass in the road, the words I have something to tell you, a cat with a broken spine dragging itself into the forest to die, the brush of your mother's papery ancient hand in a thicket of your hair, the memory of your father's voice early in the morning echoing from the kitchen where he is making pancakes for his children."
-- Brian Doyle (Tan, 2009)

Reference List:
Tan, J.L. (2009). MSN Conversation & Email. Singapore: Cassandra's computer screen.

Okay I have no absolute idea how to reference an online source thus I'm using the book one. ALL JIANG LING'S FAULT LAH. Hahaha want me to reference her! -.-

2009-05-19T01:02:00.003+08:00

Last Monday in AST, teacher Brenda (or so she requested to be called by) asked what our fave show was. I named 1 litre of tears. & Samantha's watching it now. If not for school I would have rewatched the entire drama with her already. D:

I miss that show. Although it leaves me drained of what feels like 10 litres of tears, I still love it very very very much. It talks about a young teenage girl, one who's smart and full of dreams, who encounters this muscular degenerating disease, and how she fought her way to live. The very first time I watched it, I started crying from Episode 1 all the way to the ending. Every single episode I just had to cry. At the end of it all, when I finally finished, my mum commented the very next day that my eyes were at their puffiest yet. & they were ultra red. Although the show is extremely sad, it is also very inspiring. She even had to fight just to stay alive. She was always so cheerful, so optimistic. So full of love and gentleness to the people around her, so willing to sacrifice herself for others. How can I not cry? Watching how she fought to stay in her dream school and how she slowly learns that she has to give up on things that she love, like baskbetball and sports, it was definitely... Reflective. Sometimes in life, all of us take things for granted. Simple things like health, we've never really appreciated its value. It's just something that we always thought that it'll be there, yet we don't realize it till we lose it.

I pray, dear God, that You'll teach & remind me to constantly value the simple things and luxury of life that I have.

My air con broke down recently. ALL 3. My entire house is extremely warm & humid. Everyone's dying/melting lah please!!! Haha. But at least tonight's not as bad as last night's. I practically couldn't sleep last night lah. Kept waking up in perspiration every 2 hours :/// Thus I was late this morning for school D:

Ah. I think this coming week's gonna be real packed.

Alee & I were talking about Spanish names! Alicia's a Spanish name! D: So cool, I want one too! I don't mind Alita, I think it's pretty cool & cute! :D That's what I'm gonna name my daughter in future if I get one! OHOHOH. http://www.behindthename.com/php/view.php?name=cassandra Meaning of Cassandra! :D Ohoh. & I remembered that the Macmilian (SP?) Dictionary that we used in Secondary school had my name in it! COOL HUH! ;D

Anyway. The camp over the weekend was... Okay lah eventually. Although I still think that it was quite a waste of time D: Haha. I only liked the Profiling part 'cause it was ultra cool. & a couple of suggested occupations for me were child care worker & counselor! Anyway, I'm an ENFJ. Haha it was on one of my previous posts, 'cause Marcus asked me to do. Haha! I entered the right field :D Haha. Hmm, the hold-candles-&-walk-for-very-long night walk was okay lah. I started talking to BS & I found out that she's involved in CIP with kids! So cool lah, so I signed up with her, & asked her to include me in future activities so that I can join if I'm free :D Although I don't know when I will be. HAHA. Oh then I liked the car-making part, it was quite cool, quite fun 'cause we all started to warm up a little more to each other & started working together. So not bad lah, but I highly doubt I formed any lasting friendships with any of them. It's like, a little weird seeing as how we might/most likely never work together anymore lah. HAHA. Nice to know a couple of new friends anyway.

Okay. I wanna go sleep already. & I've got to get Samantha to stop watching 1 litre of tears soon. Otherwise I won't be able to sleep & I'll just watch on with her & cry! D:

2009-05-14T01:39:00.002+08:00

I suddenly wondered.

In a normal typical day, how many times do we actually remember God? How often do we speak to Him, how often do we even think about our identity as Christians?

A couple of times, perhaps. Meal times when we say grace. But, once again, has saying grace becomes something out of a habit or do we really mean it when we thank Him for once again providing us with food that many unfortunate others out there don't have?

And just that few, spare moments with Him, is our relationship with Him even scarcely there? Maybe, I should use I instead.

Is my relationship with Him just a 'touch and go' kinda relationship? Oh no, I hope not.

Dear God please draw me back to You. Remind me constantly of my purpose in all that I do, that I do out of devotion, and not out of duty. & that of course, I'll place You above all else.

I should be sleeping. Early class tomorrow. & PEP20 tomorrow. Had HMSS Exco meeting just now - Next post yeah? Eyelids are getting heavy already. Just had to jot down my sudden thoughts & reflections before i forget them. I've got S (x infinity) TM. D:

2009-05-13T01:17:00.002+08:00

OH MY GOODNESS. I CAN SERIOUSLY DIE FROM READING KAY YONG'S BLOG. ULTRA FUNNY!!!

That fellow actually tried to predict what would happen on the 22nd/23rd may's dinner. I can't believe it lah. HAHAHA & his prediction claims that I will want to get into a relationship on the 23rd?! I SERIOUSLY ALMOST DIED LAUGHING PLEASE. & he & fiona got not-so-secret admirer on those 2 days?! HAHAHA I PROMISE I WILL NOT BE THE NOT-SO-SECRET ADMIRER FOR THE BOTH OF THEM!!! & I don't want to learn how to compromise & communicate! HAHAHA I think I'm doing that pretty well already! &&& poor Jasmine & Chu hui! Lots of love & romance in stored! HAHAHA. &&& darren also!!! HAHAHA WHAT CANDLE LIGHT DINNER ON 23RD MANN! Hahaha if we're gonna have the dinner on the 23rd then how is he gonna have a candle light dinner!!!

OH MY GOODNESS LAH. ULTRA FUNNY. CANNOT STOP LAUGHING. HAHAHA!!!

Okay okay. Get a grip on yourself Cassandra. HAHAHA I need to go to sleep soon. Seriously! Tomorrow still got attachment in the morning! HAHAHA OKAY. I'll update again. Another time. When I'm free xD

NIGHTS PEOPLE!!!

2009-05-07T10:47:00.002+08:00

Superchick - Hero (Red Pill Mix)

[Verse:]
No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong do you go along?
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It's not like you hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
Any kindness from you might have saved his life

[Tag:]
Heroes are made when you make a choice

[Chorus:]
You could be a hero
Heroes do what's right
You could be a hero
You might save a life
You could be a hero
You could join the fight
For what's right
For what's right
For what's right

[Verse:]
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She's in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out a hero is made

[Tag]

[Chorus]

[Verse:]
No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he's made
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it's his right
The choices he makes change a nine year old's life

[Chorus]

[Rap]
Little Mikey D. was the one in class who everyday got brutually harassed
This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door, grabbed a four four out of his father's dressing drawer
And said I can't take life no more
And like that life can be lost
But this ain't even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinkin' it's not my responsibility to solve a problem that isn't about me
This is our problem
This is just one of the daily scenarios which we choose to close our eyes
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice and be the voice for those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged
Now it's our time to pick a side
So don't keep walkin' by
Not wantin' to intervene
Cause you wanna exist and never be saved
So let's wake up and change the world
Our time is now

[Chorus]

My current favourite song. <3 Got this song a couple of years back. Dug it up recently ;D & Priscilla is peeping at me blogging now D; HAHAHA.

2009-05-01T21:32:00.002+08:00

Happy Labour Day :D

Haha, a good second week has passed! :D

Ohoh. I think I've definitely made an impression on Philip Koh in DLE tutorial already. On the very first lesson, I accidentally phrased my words wrongly such that the entire meaningta was totally changed! :/// Like, super EMBARRASSING. Cannot mention here :X & I said it super loudly in class!!! :/// Oh wells. & on the 2nd lesson I was super blur. -.- Like, he sarcastically said that the picture of tangle of wires is a picture of a game. & for a moment, I actually really believed him. & exclaimed loudly enough for the whole class to know that. SMART.

Anyway l embarrassed myself again yesterday. HAHAHA. 2B01 IS THE BEST. SERIOUSLY! After FP mass briefing, the RTRC people had prepared old chang kee snacks & packet drinks. We were all supposed to take one set each. HAHAHA. Most of the people refused to hang around to wait & get the food & drinks. So there were plently left! I can't believe what we did. We didn't intentionally hang around, we were just chatting & all. Okay I was with Shurong 'cause she was staying over at my place. That was when I realised that Latifah, Daphne, Shuwen, Rui Jing, Jieling I think, Yvonne. Eh. I think that's all. Ohoh, got this year one guy called fidaous (sp? ://) also. Anyway. Main point was that RJ & I were like typical Singaporean aunties! HAHAHA. THE REST ALSO LOR. JUST THAT RJ & I WERE... A LITTLE MORE ;D Haha anyway. Story goes that there was too much food & drinks left behind. So 2B01 happily stayed back to eat it for dinner. & RJ took a whole box of springrolls home!!! HAHAHA. We then attacked the drinks, taking a few packets at first. I packed 4 into my schoolbag. Then! I saw RJ taking a whole carton home!!! HAHAHA. Of course cannot lose to her lah. So I took the whole carton of mango drinks! SUPER FUNNY LAH. So I carried the whole carton of mango drinks, schoolbag & laptop to the atrium, paused for RJ to borrow books & for us to rest. Met Sophie & her fello ECH classmates. They were paiseh to the max lah. HAHAHA! Especially that cheerleading (I think) guy. Haha, don't know what's his name lah. Continued carrying all the drinks & all to the bus stop where I met Vanessa & donated one whole tube of mango drinks to her! HAHAHA thank God man! Otherwise I think my arms might just break :x bus-ed home with Shurong. Hahaha. FUNNY TRIP HOME. But still! SUPER PAISEH. :X MOST EMBARRASSING THING I EVER DID IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! From NP at least! HAHAHA!

But on hindsight it was worth it lah. All the joys, fun & laughter we shared in smuggling the drinks home & attempting to not look like we got it for free & were 'aunties'! <3 2 B01!

I died during Tuesday's training. STUPID ANTI-MALARIA PILLS. STUPID DOXY CYCLINE.

Wed was fun! Haha. Met Amirah in school in the late afternoon to go donate blood together. Well. Turns out that I couldn't do it 'cause I'm still on the dumb pills. & Amirah, after doing check-up etc etc, found out that she couldn't donate too 'cause her vein was slanted or something. HAHAHA. Poor things lah us. Anyway. Met up with Jiatru for lunch, just like what I did on Tuesday. We're both addicted to the 'One Pot' stall at Makan Place. HEH. Niceeeeee. Anyway, saw Teresa along the way, 1st time I saw her since school restarted! Okay. Nothing to be excited over. HAHAHA. Chatted a little then I did lunch with Jiatru. Then I went to blk 7 just to get money from Auyong. Medical claim from the YEP Vietnam trip. Which I'm supposed to blog about. :// Well, Auyong then told us to go to Makan Place area to get a lift to the Touch Centre. Which turns out that there wasn't any space left for Qingping, Tammie & I. So Auyong paid for us to take a cab there ;DDD HAHAHA.

OHOH. I switched with Kaizhi to pair up with Minah! Hidayah lah ;D We were supposed to deliver to 3 blocks, 2, 5 & 15. When you have 2 girls together, they'll die due to a lack of ability to read maps. HAHAHA. Well we found 2 & 5 on the map, but then we couldn't find block 15. So I smartly concluded that it was hidden beneath the landscape of the other buildings. Such as some CC thingy near blocks 16 & 17! Heh. So I highlighted an invisible place and declared it as block 15 on my own. D: SMART EH. Haha anyway, thank God we finally managed to find the right place, after lots & lots of help & asking around! I think I'll miss MOW (meals on wheels) after the next & last session! ))): Oh. Everyone took like, less than an hour to complete their deliveries, but Minah & I took like, more than an hour, almost 2 hours! Ohoh, & this old indian man tried to tell us his story too. Like how he was living in the Jap Occupation time & how he's an orphan, & how he wants to go to Melaka (I think) to live 'cause he has a friend there. & he kept offering us money -.- Such a cute old man. Hahaha.

Met Puii for dinner after that. Ichiban nearly tore a hole in my wallet. :X Oh but I made her wait an hour for me 'cause I ended my MOW late. We caught up a lot a lot, missed her like mad. (: I think the meet-up helped me to know her better as an individual, to know her even better personally, instead of a person in our clique. I think the both of us have grown up in our own ways, we're both more vocal & active in school now, instead of sleeping it all away. Haha. Okay, I was active in Crescent lah, but I'm a whole lot more vocal now. More certain of what I want out of my short poly life. Puii's taking on leadership roles 'cause the rest of her class is like... Lousy. But she's... stepping out of her comfort zone? Haha I don't know. Much as she has changed/grew up, I still love her (:

Okay. I shall blog about Vietnam & Teengames another day. Too long a post already! I think I took a couple of hours to type this entire thing out lah! Okay lah, I was multi-tasking ;D

2009-04-27T21:26:00.002+08:00

2nd week of school! Goodness. So fast! Heh. Being a year 2 feels really strange now. Okay, not strange, but just. Different. It's not such a bad thing I suppose. I suppose mainly 'cause quite a few people I know are in NP now! :D But in some ways I do miss being a freshie :D

Anyway. Woke up late for school today, plus I had stomach ache ))): ah wells.

Anyway, during lunch break, we had a mini birthday celebration for Jasmine and Chu Hui. It was pretty okay I suppose. Well, Sara got the cake, I rushed to makan place to get tissues, and all of us kept trying to get Alee and Juian out of class! Hahaha! Juian took like, FOREVER!!! But then they had lecture lah, it was very nice of them to escape class just to join in the celebration. The celebration was so last min please!!! But at least practically everyone turned up, including Manhong who said she couldn't at first! :D Well. I hope Jasmine and Chu Hui were happy with the last-min-mini celebration... (: I don't know how the others feel about it though. But if anyone feels that it was a flop... I'm really sorry about it. I know it was the one-hour lunch break for most of us and then it started really late 'cause a lot of people came late... But I'm so sorry about it yeah. And I'm really sorry if any of you had to miss lunch just 'cause of the celebration. ://

Anyway, last week was ultra hectic for me. For the first 2 days I had to worry about CCA Fiesta. Okay, not really worry lah. But seeing as how I'm like, the main IC, it was a load on my mind. I AM SO GLAD THAT IT IS OVER! Well, after CCA Fiesta, the dance4fund thingy came along. Well, although HMS didn't win this time round, it was nonetheless excellent effort put in. I think this event also brought me closer to HMS people (: It was also during all the dance rehearsals that I saw the efforts of Matthew & Jasmine. It made me appreciate them and their efforts more, & even interact with them more often. It really is through working together with one another that allows us to know one another better, to break whatever judgemental barriers we had based on first impressions. & God, I pray that You'll continue to guide my attitude towards people, to help me not be judgemental, & even to not be 'clique-ish' in any sense. Well, I still declare the dance event for HMS a success! :D

Haha, it was so busy last week that I really agree with what Kenn said. "We never walked out of school in the daylight this whole week!" Well, I did, once on Monday but still! Haha.

Wednesday was the worst 'cause dance rehearsal ended at like, 10 plus for us. & by then I still haven't had dinner. I was pretty hungry initially, but upon arriving at Macs with Tecky, Kenn, Manhong, Yong Chuan and Darren, I realised that Macs killed my appetite. I don't know why either but I ended up eating just an apple pie and Chocolate milkshake for dinner. Not hungry anymore I guess :x The next day's class was at 9am!!! Financial Management. I ALMOST DIED. Halfway lah, through the lesson. Although it was a pretty interesting lesson, I still felt like dying. Thank God that as I was about to doze off, the teacher called for an early break! I so totally needed it :D I immediately went to power nap! Haha. Well, school overall was okay, I didn't really fall asleep during lessons :D Thank God so much for that for sustaining me!

&&&. I need to really do QT regularly!

The start of another week. I need to continue to depend on Your grace. For You said that Your grace is sufficient for me. & I claim that promise. (:

Difficulty is actually the atmosphere surrounding a miracle or a miracle in its initial stage. yet if it is to be a great miracle, the surrounding condition will not simply be a difficulty but an utter impossibility. And it is the clinging hand of His child that makes a desperate situation a delight to God. - Andrew Murray
Man's weakness, God's power. (:

Yes God, Your will, not mine. :D

2009-04-20T23:59:00.002+08:00

FINALLY. I'M HERE TO BLOG.

THINGS TO BLOG ABOUT:
1. FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
2. HMS ORIENTATION CAMP
3. YEP VIETNAM TRIP

Anyway. Life's been so busy lately, so many things to do, so little time. Like what most people who know me always say, I seem to have 48 hours on my hands. Sadly, it's untrue. ): I would really love more time to do more stuff. But I suppose the question here is. For Who am I doing it?

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

First day of school was AWESOME. God really blessed me today and met my needs! Haha. Today I was doing QT at Makan Place with sheena & sheryl. I read Pro 20, (as today's the 20th!) and when I came to verse 13, I knew at once it was a message directly from God.

V13: Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare.

Seriously. I was so amazed by that verse that God showed me. For the past few days I've not had much sleep, and despite being excited for the first day of school, I still felt sleepy. Thank You God, for the message!

CCA Fiesta set up is finally done! Another couple of days more & no more CCA Fiesta!

Haha, and God really met my need! He knows I was in no condition to attend lessons, much less a 2 hour tutorial continued by a 2 hour lecture by the same teacher... So! He gave me a break :D The teacher had to be admitted into the hospital for some medical checkup. Kinda poor thing though. She missed the first day of school. But yeah. So (2B01 now) only had a 2 hour tutorial on AST, advanced speech training. First lesson was already a little tough, all the weird constants and theie phonetics sounds. Not phonics. 2 TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS despite having similar names. Grr. But interesting lah. I think. After I get used to it. Some of us went to the CCA fiesta to look see look see. :D Had some fun there, saw some people that I've not seen for ages, got Candy Floss then I went off already. Went shopping with RJ, Pris, Lat, Jelly, Yvonne! We had a jolly good time, forcing Jelly to buy the shawl dress, buying RJ's birthday present - the long long long green dress & forcing her to promise to wear it to school on friday, & the other 4 of us buying shoes! Finally, I have a pair of casual pumps. :D Cute ones too, & they're the same as Yvonne! :D Well. That typically concludes the end of my first day in school. Not so much of being in school though. ;D

HMS ORIENTATION CAMP

It was pretty interesting. My first project since joining the Exco. It was a learning experience, working with people whom I don't really know. Of all the people in Exco, I probably only started out knowing a couple of the senior comm members. Plus I joined 2 meetings late. It was pretty tough at first, having to learn names, trying to be more sociable and know the Exco better. The first meeting with them was awkward initially (as expected), but I really thank God for Sara, Chu Hui & Darren. The first 3 friends I made. Okay Sara being the first, we just clicked on the topic of books on the MRT & our friendship built up from there on. After my 1st meeting with them at the airport, Sara, Chu Hui, Darren & I walked around the airport & finally settled down in TCC. The idea of setting up a book club came about, for book lovers like us. A bold plan, a daring one. Probably one of the rare rash things I've done in my life where I try to turn fantasies into realities. We started planning on our own etc etc. I've even emailed Ms Chong to see if she can help us. We'll know by Friday. I don't mind starting it, but I know I wanna take things slow with that idea. It's not on my topmost piority list right now. But it'll be a dream come true.

Well, the later few meetings were slightly better. I got to know Angelin, Matthew, Weiting, Fiona, Jasmine & Kay Yong better. Bit by bit. At least names were starting to fall in place for me. I chose to join the night games committee. I hope I was a good member. I suppose my 2 week trip & absence from the pre camp caused a bit of inconvenience here & there (probably mostly for me). I had to catch up on the whirl of things when I came back. The night games comm consisted of Weiting as the leader, Fiona, Kay Yong, Sara & I. I'm not sure if through this event, the 5 of us actually grew closer to one another... Or further apart. I'm really hoping for the best.

Ange's my co-house captain & Matt stood in for me when I was away from pre camp. Thus, he just stayed on as my co-house captain. Well. At least out of everything. I got to know Matthew and Ange better. Ange the most! Her and her 'not-so-secret-love'! ;D I really thank God that Keala's GLs were so nice to me. Like, despite me not being there from the beginning at pre camp, they just warmly welcomed me into their midst like an old friend. Bits of awkwardness in the beginning, but all it took was one to two sessions for us to be able to chill and hang out.

Upon reflection, I realise that there are lots of struggles, lots of unresolved misunderstandings, silent conflicts etc. Enough for me to feel discouraged, tired, handicapped, disappointed, uncertain, scared. I just wanna cry with all the uncertainty in me. All these negative feelings welling up in me. I suppose within me, there's a sense of power hunger. Maybe I'm not used to being less than the elite. Maybe that's the problem with me. If it's true, if only 4 can stay on... I know I'll want to be one of them. Yet, I don't think I've proven myself to be worthy of staying on. At least not this time round. God, please just take away any power hunger within me. I came in to learn, to glorify You. Help me to serve more and more to bring a good testimony to Your name. Yet, I wonder. If all this while I've actually been depending on myself, depending on people, on anything but the Holy Spirit. God, guide me & fill me with Your love & patience. Let it overflow out to the people around me. Give me a servant's heart, a willing heart.

Okay. Think I've got to leave Vietnam trip till the next post. Feeling too reflective to reflect any further.

2009-04-03T05:11:00.005+08:00

THIS IS SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS!!! I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING AT SOME OF THEM!

Kenn
Dear Cass
I roll you.
You have a nice bounce.
You make me dribble you.
You should bounce more.
Someday I will shoot into a goalpost :D .
You + me = soccer.
If I saw you now I'd dribble you.
I want to kick you.
I would build a goalpost just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be Glory Glory Man United.
We could play soccer under the stars.

Love,Kenn
(P.S. I'm still upset about Man U vs Liverpool's results =( )Oh and I am not going to post this under my notes and see what you write about me.(did it already :D)

I hate you for life Kenn >:/// If I were a ball, I'll roll over you right now, hahaha!

Iifah
Dear Cass ♥
I envy you.
You have a nice fencing footwork confidence.
You make me self concious of my own footwork.
You should give me tips on how to improve....
Someday I will be as good as you with footwork.
You + me = bully Pris pair. HAHA.
If I saw you now I'd say HELLO!.
I want to disturb you.
I would build a pacman keychain just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be some random song im hooked on.
We could sing under the stars.

Love,ifahchan
(P.S. i dont want to go for training if you and pris arent going. D: )
Oh and I am going to post this under my notes and see what you write about me. (but later. haha. :D)

Haha Iifah my dear, I DO NOT have good fencing footwork. I'm seriously lousy! Come for training more often & you'll improve!

Haslina
Dear Cass ♥
I adore you.
You have a nice butt.
You make me high.
You should let me hug u....
Someday I will do that.
You + me =shouting and screaming.
If I saw you now I'd hugg you
I want to bake for you.
I would build a cake just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be sexyback.
We could shout under the stars.

Love,haslina
(P.S. i may sound like a les, but im not. its just tat cass is great for hugging.)
Oh and I am _____not sure__ la__haha_ (going/not going) to post this under my notes and see what you write about me.

Has!!! Stop touching my butt!!! HAHAHA! & you already hug me all the time!!! Love you babe.

Carmen
Dear Cass,I miss you.
You have a nice smile.
You make me laugh.
You should come Poly Serve more.
Someday I will sleep.
You + me = Cassmen
If I saw you now I'd scream
I want to cook you.
I would build a claypot just for you.
If i could sing you any song it would be goodbye my love.
we could eat under the stars.

Love, Cass + men
p.s. i am so lame. ha oh and i am not going to post this under my notes and see what u can write abt me.

Haha thanks che men!!! & you better sleep more! I wish I could go for more polyserve but I'm really busy & I'm flying off. Okay I flew off & I just returned! & don't cook me!!! ))):

Hock Cai
Dear Cass ♥
I tell you.
You have a nice friend.
You make me happy.
You should take care of yourself.
Someday I will see you.
You + me = Child of God.
If I saw you now I'd laugh.
I want to wish you.
I would build a sandcastle just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be twinkle twinkle.
We could sing under the stars.

Love,hockcai
(P.S. ....)Oh and I am going (going/not going) to post this under my notes and see what you write about me.

Why twinkle twinklw!!! & stop laughing at me! Hahaha someday I will see you too - tomorrow, friday during youth, you silly!!!

Siti
Dear Cass ♥
I love love you.
You have a nice cute kawaii face.
You make me wanna hug and glomp u!!
You should eat more fishball.
Someday I will date nishikido ryo.
You + me =Handsome Husband and Kawaii Wife
If I saw you now I'd HUG U!!(what else?)
I want to feed fishball to you.
I would build a nishikido ryo shrine just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be ponyo ponyo~~.
We could talk about nishikido ryo under the stars.

Love,Your husband hohoho~~(P.S. Dont cheat on Moi.)Oh and I am going to post this under my notes and see what you write about me. in fact i already have!! GO AND WRITE!!

Haha Siti what is glomp!!! &&& YOU CANNOT DATE NISHIKIDO RYO!!! Heh but I would love the shrine ;D Hahaha jk lah. I'm not obsessed my darling. Ponyo ponyo! Let's sing that when school reopens. & sit under the stars one night & talk about nishikido ryo, yes let's do. &&&! I would never ever dare to dream of cheating on you! Like nike says, just do it ;D

Yvonne
Dear Cass ♥
I hearts you.
You have a nice name.
You make me HIGH.
You should love me more. (AHAHAHA)
Someday I will find a fishball soft toy for you.
You + me = fishball lovers. (I love fishballs too :DD )
If I saw you now I'd eat fishball noodles w you.
I want to play throwing fishballs w you.
I would build a fishball castle just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be Ponyo and Beautiful Girl.
We could sing and watch clouds hiding under the stars.

Love,Yvonne:)
(P.S. Seeyou soon! GYM :D.)

Hahaha why does everyone want to sing Ponyo to me!!! I'll sing it with you, love. Yvonne's beautiful too! ;D FISHBALL ALL THE WAY! <333

Amirah
Dear Cass ♥
I miss you.
You have a nice pair of cheeks.
You make me jealous because of them.
You should share with me the secret of having rosy cheeks.. is the secret fishball?
Someday I will organize a fishball party for you.
You + me = Carpenters lovers.
If I saw you now I'd slap your butt and we'd do a fertility dance.
I want to sing Beatles songs with you.
I would build a fishball fortress just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be Strawberry Fields Forever.
We could pretend to be fishballs under the stars.

Love,Amirah
(P.S. I swear I ate 3 fishballs just now.)

Hahaha Amirah I have no idea where the rosy cheeks come from. My mum I suppose. Hahaha & yes, Carpenters <3!>

Wani
Dear Cass ♥ ,
I miss you.
You have a nice nose.
You make me roll around on the floor with laughter.
You should grow your hair
Someday I will meet you.
You + me = Friends for life.
If I saw you now I'd scream "FISHBALL!!!".
I want to hug you.
I would build a sandcastle just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be Beautiful by Akon.
We could lie down on the grass and sing under the stars.

Love,Your "long lost" friend, Wani
(P.S. I REALLY, REALLY MISS YOU. WE SHOULD MEET UP SOON!)
Oh and I am going to post this under my notes and see what you write about me.

Wani, please do not tell me you have been noticing my nose for 2 whole years in Crescent!!! HAHAHA & yes. Let's meet up soon. Miss you too love! & I had long hair for 6 years!!! Maybe I'll grow it back again sometime soon. MAYBE.

Marcus
Dear Cass ♥
I salute you.
You have a nice dimple.
You make me envious.
You should grow long hair.
Someday I will do nothing.
You + me = mere dusts??
If I saw you now I'd say Hi!!.
I want to learn from you.
I would build a vacuum robot just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be surreal.
We could crawl under the stars.

Love,Marcus.
(P.S. Gags, Just for laughs.)
Oh and I am going to post this under my notes and see what you write about me.

Eh Marcus ah. Since when did I have dimples?! Were you thinking of another girl!?!??! HAHAHA! & I would love a vacuum robot. Then I don't have to clean my house ;D & what song is surreal? I haven't heard it before. & why would I want to CRAWL under the stars!??!?! I would much rather lie & admire them!!! Silly fellow.

Shine
Dear Cass ♥
I miss you.
You have a nice character.
You make me feel like hugging u.
You should hug me when u see me.
Someday I will probably see u opening a Gospel Ligh childcare centre.
You + me = LOL .
If I saw you now I'd squeeze you.
I want to laugh/joke you.
I would build a sand castle just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be SHINE JESUS SHINE.
We could laugh under the stars.

Love,SHINE
(P.S. enjoy your holidays~ see you real soon.)

Shine!!! I miss you too! & yes, I'll hug you when I see you ;D Haha, run the childcare with me? & don't squeeze me!!! Hahaha! Love you babe.

Seriously cute messages!!! <333

2009-03-14T18:56:00.002+08:00

I think this will be my final post before I leave for Vietnam :D Ah soon soon. 2 more days! Haha I can barely contain my excitement. I can barely wait for Monday to arrive too! :D

Internet at my house has been down. ): Therefore I have been forced to survive without the internet for the past few days. As a result, I have to camp at Lot One's Mac's in order to use Wireless @SG which is. Quite slow. Ah wells. & somehow I can't access my email inbox. ): GRR.

Anyway, this past week has been tiring yet accomplished. Not really accomplished lah, but at least I manage to get started on a lot of stuff or finish up stuff. I've gotten Shine to take over my portion for the LINK, finished up YEP stuff (I just need to do up my rebus chart), booked fencing BBQ pits & started & finalised the fencing board's design! Whoa, what a week!

Well. I haven't been to training for almost 2 weeks now, all thanks to the anti malaria pills which left me sick. & I won't be able to train another 2 weeks since I'll be in Vietnam ): I MISS TRAINING ):

But I've certainly watched A LOT of movies lately! Benjamin Button, Marley & Me, Suspect X & I'm gonna watch Slumdog Millionaire later :D Haha, like an entire movie marathon.

Ah wells. I shall conclude my post here.

2009-03-08T20:56:00.006+08:00

I have never ever been allergic to any sort, or any form of drugs before. That is, before I met my nemesis, Mefloquine. Ah yes. It's practically deadly to me lah. It's a type of anti-malaria pill, meant to be taken weekly. I took my first dose on last Monday and I was alright at first. Tuesday passed without a hitch, at least for my health. Since then, I've been sick.

Woke up on Wednesday late for YEP meeting. I didn't go in the end, mainly 'cause I had muscle aches, SEVERE headache. Despite the splitting headache, I refused to give in to panadol, until about 13 hours later. Congratulate me for being so strong mann! Haha. Well, I went for HMSS exco though, I thought fresh air might do my headache good. Obviously not. It further developed into abdominal pain, slight dizziness, nauseous & even took my appetite away. ))): Well, in anycase, I still went for Benjamin Button with Shurong after the meeting, which lasted a grand total of 3.5 hours! Longest meeting I've ever attended! Benjamin Button was also the longest movie I've ever watched! About 2 to 3 hours! We ended up missing the last bus & train home. Thank God for my daddy, who relented & drove us home. Haha. Shurong slept over at my place. About an hour after taking the panadol extra, I was practically back to my bubbly self :D So Shurong & I chatted till almost 4 in my room as we tried (not very hard) to sleep. :D Thursday nearly killed me as the diarrhea came. I was LS-ing all the way lah!!! ))): Until today. & my appetite is still at an all-time low, plus the constant abdominal pain. Ah wells.

About 8 more days to Vietnam! :D

& I STILL HATE ANTI-MALARIA PILLS! >:[

Okay. I seriously feel really really really guilty about not going for polyserve.

Did this on like, Friday night I think. Interesting results. Haha, look for yourself. Lazy to explain.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes3.asp

http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=teacher

http://www.e-mbti.com/enfj.php

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/careers/enfj.htm

2009-03-07T04:02:00.003+08:00

Technically, now's Saturday. So if it's Saturday, that means... NINE MORE DAYS TO AIRPLANE TO VIETNAM!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Okay I can't wait. But now. I must go and sleep. I'm slightly sleepy. Oh mann. Got so much to update about. But they'll have to wait. 'Cause if I don't sleep soon I think I won't be able to stay awake tomorrow. Not that I have anything to stay awake for. But still.

I OFFICIALLY HATE ANTI-MALARIA PILLS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

2009-02-28T02:07:00.002+08:00

This week has been one cool week for me! Haha. Pretty fun.

Monday
Okay, Monday was terrible as I overslept & ended up meeting Shurong at Changi Airport. We didn't catch any of our planned movies nor did we manage to shop at all. I met up with her at Terminal 3 TCC & we sat there sipping coffee as we were both super engrossed in our books. I was reading Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult while she was reading Eclipse by Stephanie Meyers. Haha, I was hungry so I ordered a "tofu with minced beef baked with mozzeralla cheese over it"! IT WAS ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS! ;D I was wondering what an unique dish, I must try it! Thank God so much that it turned out to be delectable. Otherwise I would have just wasted my money (it was expensive you know!)! We picked her mum up & continue reading through the night. Okay I driffed off to play Neopets eventually. Haha but I read too! Spent the night at her place again! Haha, the both of us have been spending so much time together! ;D

Tuesday
I was supposed to go home that night but apparently I didn't. We started baking our cheescake late, so we ended late as well. As a result, I couldn't go home ): Well, we baked a "Vanilla Bean Cheesecake" for my mum's birthday! ;D Cool right! & it turned out delicious too! It was expensive though ): Well, I had fun, it was my first time baking a cheescake! ;D

Wednesday
We woke up a little late & thus couldn't go gyming. We had to reach my home after 12. So after eating the famous fishball noodles in JB (It was quite okay), we crossed the customs and popped by Popular to collect "Breaking Dawn" for Shurong. Then we rushed to school to do teenz game publicity & we rushed back home. We melted chocolate & made chocolate drizzle in my house! ;D & we used it to decorate the cake! Shurong's seriously a good baker! Then we rushed to Jack's Place to get the cake there before my mum arrived & we ended up reading in the library. Haha. Seriously man. We had a great time at Jack's Place, my sisters & I were bantering like mad. Sam & I laughed like mad, I bet the entire restuarant could hear us! Hahaha! & I added salt into Sam's iced water & she nearly drank it! Ah wells, nearly only. But it was a night to be remembered, the fun and joy we had was just the ultimate. The good-natured teasing to and fro the tables was defintely something I missed most doing with my family. (: Ooh! We had the birthday celebration for my mum at Jack's Place, the people presented her with our cake! :D The waitress let slipped that there was a cake at the counter & we hastily said it wasn't ours. My heart dropped the moment she said that! Haha, but thank God my mum didn't suspect anything. Anyway, we had an ultra big meal at Jack's Place. It was scrumptious of course. We had to donate half of our cheesecake to the Jack's Place staff! ): I was a little sad as I wanted to keep my creation! But ah wells. Giving is better than receiving, Cassandra! ;D Well, after paying, my mum stayed back to chat with the Jack's Place manager. We grabbed hold of that opportunity to rush & get the ice cream cake that my dad had asked me to get! Hahaha! So many cakes! Ah. But it took the Swensen's people so long just to pack it. -.- By then, we had to pretend and say we want to loiter around the DVD shop which was next door. She had a SUPER SURPRISED look on her face when the Swensen's waitress walked up to us & handed us the cake! HAHAHA! My dad then drove all of us home & we attempted to eat part of the ice cream cake. Shurong then stayed over at my place.

Thursday
Shurong & I were late in meeting Liansie ))): Sorry Liansie! Well, we met her & Tammie at Novena to eat ice cream! What a fattening week! Anyway, we went to this newly opened ice cream parlor Udders! I love the ice cream! A little expensive though, like Ben's & Jerry's. But it was pretty good. I picked Rum Rum Rasin & ChocMarsh! <3 Haha I absolutely love rum! Rum rum rasin had a double dosage of rum & it was delicious! ChocMarsh was cool too, sweetly delightful! Haha, I had mine to come with a wafer & so there was the delicious chocolate drizzle that I love so much! Haha. We played Taboo while eating & it was fun. Took quite a number of pictures & we doodled on the wall (It was allowed!) with the colourful markers provided. We then shopped around Novena for a little while & Liansie had to go quite soon. After she left, Shurong complained that she was hungry already - THAT PIG! Hahaha so we went to some bakery where she bought a pasta salad, soup & drink. Thanks to her, I got tempted & started feeling hungry, thus buying a sandwich, soup & drink set. The sandwich was good! It was some cheese gourmet sandwich & that totally got me happy! ;D I love cheese! Anyway, after eating, Shurong & Tammie insisted on visiting the supermarket. -.- Who visits supermarket for fun! But yeah well, I gave in & tagged along. I had to leave pretty soon though 'cause I was due at Tanah Merah MRT at 5 for HMSS Exco meeting. Oh, did I mention I forgot my phone? Yeah well, I had to keep a lookout for people who might appear familiar. Thank God I spotted Manhong! Or, Man jie as they call her. Haha. Anyway, travelled to Changi Airport to meet the rest. I made really good friends with Sara, Chu Hui & Darren! Other than Darren, the three of us were absolutely passionate about books. Not any books, mind you, but GOOD BOOKS. Anyway, you could say it was on a moment of impulse, you could say idealistic, but you could also say we were daring. We decided there & then to set up a new CCA - NP BOOK CLUB! Okay, it doesn't sound really appealing I know. But it's gonna be for people who really treasure & love books (: Like us. Well, we kinda forced Darren into it too. Haha. Hung around until about 9 then I went home with a few of the HMSS Exco people.

Okay. I should probably stop here. I'm itching to get back to my book! Haha. I'm currently reading my comic series over again - Mirmo Zibang! :D Cute you know!

2009-02-23T05:22:00.002+08:00

EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!!!

Okay, technically, it's "EXAM IS FINALLY OVER!" Haha in any case, now's the season & time, in my opinion, for dancing and partying! :D But! Can you believe it? I'm a year 2 now! Seriously! Sounds scary mann. It's really fast & I've spent a whole year with 1B01 already.

Okay, I tried to upload class photos but! Somehow, everytime I attempt to do so, blogger just hangs and therefore I have given up.

Anyway, before I forget!

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY CHIN SHURONG! <3

Haha I remember how we both first met at HMS orientation camp, we were in the same camp group; Agape - Love! <3 Seriously mann, I distinctively remember you because of the innocent yet silly question you asked me on the second day of camp. That was the time practically the entire world thought I was Malay due to all the camps and sunlight exposure. We were exchanging contacts when you casually asked, "Cassandra, I ask you ah, how come Malay can have english name ah?" !??!?! Haha, I was so stunned and shocked you know. Ah, my dear ah, my dear. You were the only one innocently bold enough to ask me that outright. After your initial stab at commenting I'm a Malay, the others came soon enough. & because of that, my phrase was "wo shi ge zheng zong hua ren okay!!!" for like, the entire camp and even slightly after that. Haha! I was never close to you in camp though, but we clicked on pretty well, serving in SYFC NP ministry. & from there, I've got to really thank God for blessing me with such a loving & caring sister, one who is able to constantly encourage & entertain me, filling my life with silly activities like 7 to 7 in the airport! Haha, ooh & baking sessions! Okay, session, seeing as how we haven't gone on our second one yet. But soon, my friend, soon we must! The silly sleepovers too! & of course, how can I ever forget what really drew us together & started this friendship blosoming was BGC & all the pon-ing together! Terrible club members, the both of us! Haha, I had loads of fun with you though! All in all, just wanna thank God for the special memories together, the joys & love of it! <3 you dearie always! :D HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY AGAIN <3!

There. A whole entire paragraph dedicated to you, Chin Shurong! Hahaha, well well. You're turning 18 so quickly! Haha, & it seems like it wasn't long before I turned 17!

Yesterday was pretty fun, went out with the class after the paper & we went all the way to Marina Square to eat... PASTAMANIA! Okay well, we were supposed to eat at Seoul Garden initially... But well, we had to accomodate every classmate lah (: In anycase, Pastamania was normal like usual & we then headed off to take pictures. After a couple of pictures, we drifted apart, shopped a little here & there, played a couple of games at the arcade, tried to catch soft toys at the toy-catching machine (due to Priscilla) which we failed terribly. That girl's seriously rich & deranged mann. Silly girl, spending so much money just on attempting to catch the soft toy. :// Money doesn't seem like it ought to be spent that way :// Well well. We caught "He's just not that into you" after that. Chick flick, yeah but not bad lah. Most of them headed home after the movie, but a couple of us hung out & shopped around. Mainly Jieling, Latifah, Jodi, Weiqian & I. :D

Anyway, I made the stupidest mistake in the whole wide world by wearing a new pair of shoes out. Obviously the shoes bit into my feet like mad & by the time I reached school in the morning I had 2 big blisters at the back of my feet & they ruptured. OUCHHH. Yes they hurt like mad. Till now. >:/ So I walked around with hurting feet. Thank God Weiqian had the same feet size as me, so we exchanged shoes for a couple of hours! :D Her golden pumps are seriously comfortable! <3 I wanna get a pair like that soon!

That's all for now, folks! :D

p.s. Nicholas is in Manchester now! Oh, the envy. I wanna go there too! ): HAHAHA.

2009-02-19T23:49:00.002+08:00

We all bow down - Lenny LeBlanc

Princes and paupers
Sons and daughters
Kneel at the throne of grace
Losers and winners
Saints and sinners
One day will see His face

And we all bow down
Kings will surrender their crowns
And worship Jesus
For He is the love
Unfailing love
He is the love of God

Summer and winter
The mountains and rivers
Whisper our Savior's name
Awesome and holy
A friend to the lonely
Forever His love will reign

He's the light of the world
And Lord of the cross

And we all bow down
Kings will surrender their crowns
And worship Jesus
Worship Jesus
Worship Jesus
For He is love
Unfailing love
He is the Love of God

Lovely <3

2009-02-18T23:56:00.002+08:00

I am currently munching on the 54 kisses from Lyana, with the ultimate goal of getting fatter and fatter till I explode and die.

Just kidding.

Anyway, I just completed part of my portion of the LINK and finally, my editorial column. I almost died last night trying to figure out what in the world do I write for ENERGY. Yes, energy. That's the theme for the Feb '09 issue. Interesting, ain't it? Challenging too. Well, at least it's some sort of a breakthrough from the usual 'fruits of the Spirit'. Not that those weren't good, they were essential too.

But honestly, ENERGY? It's something... Really new. Well, thanks to Sicheng for the idea though! My first feeble attempt at the editorial column veered out of point, bringing with it some points that didn't sound too right. But it taught me a lot. I mean I really wasn't sure, I've never thought of Christian energy before. My second attempt's being scrutinized by Ian now. Let's hope I'm on the right track. Well, it humbled me too. Although I've not thought of myself as a Bible-know-it-all (I never dare to anyway), this simple event of writing an editorial note has shown me how little I know. I mean, I know the basis of Christianity and all, but seriously, is that gonna be my boundary? I don't want to know so little. Oh Father, give me a thirst after You, after Your own heart.

Been studying for the past two days. Which is good, I need to turn into a diligent, smart girl before my exam arrives on Saturday. Or else I die. Okay, not literally, but I really want to use my grades to shine.

2009-02-18T19:38:00.002+08:00

You were there - Avalon

I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight

'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all His sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb

'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, You were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were

Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath
You were there, You were there

During history’s darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one

You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God

You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God

I had to bite my bubble tea straw to stop myself from tearing in the school library. Heard this song as I was studying with Latifah today. It was on my itouch's shuffle. Lovely.

You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense

Indeed Lord, You were, You are, and You will always be there. Even when nothing seems to make sense. I don't understand, but Your ways alone, are higher, way higer than mine.